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Song Parodies -> "Crappy Modern Art"

Original Song Title:

"Achy Breaky Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Ray Cyrus

Parody Song Title:

"Crappy Modern Art"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I usually despise that silly Turner Prize
Entries make me either puke or yawn
A running stream on tap of dumb and steaming crap
'Cause "Modern art" is now oxymoron

Art? I don't see how a bifurcated cow
(I hope was chopped in two after it died)
Then shoved into a tank and just before it stank
Kinda pickled in formaldehyde


No I don't think it's art - this crappy modern art
I just don't think I understand
Why do they call it art, this crappy modern art
It isn't only crap, it's really bad


Who could want to do a picture of a loo
Could that be artistic do you think?
I've even heard it said, a dirty, soiled bed
Must have Emin-ated quite a stink

To see Gilbert and George, well that just makes my gorge
Rise right up until I'm gonna spew
Using their own faeces - that can't be art, puh-lease
If that's the case, my kid's an artist, too


No, I don't think it's art, it's crappy modern art
I do not get one single bit
Explain to me this art, this crappy modern art
You say "conceptual", I say "shit"

No, I don't think it's art, it's crappy modern art
It ain't the sort of stuff I go to see
How do they sell this art, this crappy modern art
Just a load of Pollocks, you ask me

Won't sell this art, this crappy modern art
(Rant to fade)

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

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User Comments

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Matthias - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Some great lines in here, Phil. "Modern Art" is an oxymoron.... "if that's the case my kid's an artist too".... "You say "conceptual", I say "shit""....... And for some reason "It isn't only crap, it's really bad" made my day
Jack Wilson - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Made the OS look like crap. Oh wait it is already. But yeah made the OS as crappy as the Macarena. 5s
Michael Pacholek - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
MOMA, oo-woo-woo (any way the wind blows...) A good choice of base song for the subject, and well-executed. Which is what we'd like some of these "artists" (including Billy Ray) to be!
Ann Hammond - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I love a good oxymoron
MasonR - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Many years ago, while renovating a bathroom my contractor left the old toilet out at the curb to be picked up by the local sanitation department. "Wait a sec," said I. "This is art!" And so, filled with visions of Duchamp in my head, I grabbed a Sharpie and wrote "LHOOQ" on the toilet seat. "This will sell for a million," said I. "No it won't," said my contractor. "It's a toilet with some letters on it." He was wrong, though. That toilet is now sitting in the permanent colleciton of the Highland Park Department of Sanitation. :-)
Yoidy - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
This is hilarious and true! The curator hath no clothes. They'll exhibit stuff like a toaster on a pedestal and call it art. High concept 5s for you.
alvin rhodes - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
great title and the parody lived up to the promise
Johnny D - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, y'know what they say, if it's not Scottish, it's... ;-)
2Eagle - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Art critics praise this garbage to the skies and tell us to "have an open mind" and then they disparage the likes of Thomas Kinkade, Norman Rockwell and Andrew Wyeth whose work shows real skill. They say it isn't art but mere illustrations. By the way, one of the greatest artists of our time is Brooke McEldowney who draws 9 Chickweed lane.
John Barry - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Remember the immortal words of Marshall McLuhan: art is anything you can get away with.
AFW - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Very well said, indeed
Meriadoc - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I still remember back in about ' 78 going to see a small exhibit at the University of A____, consisting of photographs of used tampons found in parking lots. It sent our art teacher into paroxyms of ecstacy.... :-P
Rick C - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Everyone else said what I was gonna say so, I'll say what everyone else said. That's poetry, in case you couldn't tell. Great statement here, Phil :-) 555
jango - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I want to make up a modern dance to replace the achy breaky line dance that goes with the OS---but I think i need to find some freshly slain small animals to wave around in an ethereal manner, while doing yoga in a vat of clam chowder, with a mouth full of shredded speeding tickets and old shoelaces braided into my guacamole encrusted hair. Now THAT would be artistic!
Phil Alexander - March 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow.. what a great reception to come back to in the morning :-)
Mason - yep, modern art ain't only shit, it's taking the piss
JD - if it's not Scottish, it's what?
JB - and he was absolutely right
2Eagle - "Brooke McEldowney" - any relation?
Merry - sounds like one really weird art teacher
Rick C - is that "modern" poetry? ;-)
jango - you've *got* to post the video to that on youtube :-D
2Eagle - March 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Brooke McEldowney - I don't know the man. I just know that he has a very sophisticated drawing tecnique similar to Al Hirschfeld. Look up 9 Chickweed Lane on the net.
Linda - March 02, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks! That was fun!
Jonathan - March 02, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with you Linda it was good 5's
crazy8snake - March 04, 2007 - Report this comment
This parody is a work of art.
Jason - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Hi Phil! Sorry this comment is so late! Fantastic parody. I loved the 'picture of a loo' line! Anyway I've written a response to this parody and have improved the internal rhyming. 555
Steve Sadler - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Excellent (surprise surprise). If you haven't heard Fascinating Aida's "Yes, but is it Art?" you ought to. It's excellent and along the same philosophical lines as this parody.
white trash - January 04, 2010 - Report this comment
eww i hate that art ive seen better marks when washing my paintbrushes but the song was terrific 555

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