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Song Parodies -> "The Tricker of Treats"

Original Song Title:

"The River of Dreams"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"The Tricker of Treats"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

In the middle of the night
I go walking in the street
Like a Charlie Brown ghost
With two holes in a sheet
I'm out there looking for candy
Something chocolate or large
Praise the Halloween gods
'Cause it's all free of charge

Even though it's minus-twenty degrees
I'll walk down every driveway and knock every door
I'll strain to see, and my nuggets'll freeze
But there's a Hershey-bar stash and I'm a Krackel whore

In the middle of the night
I go out to trick-or-treat
Through the projects and slums
To the wealthy jerks' streets
I'm out fighting with SpongeBobs,
Hulk-y Shrek-y green things,
Geeks from Star Wars and Myst
And The Lord of the Rings

I don't know why I go risking my life
'Cause you can find this crap on sale all over the place
But ya know I'll never call it a night
Until I've filled every inch of this pillow case

In the middle of the night
I go walking up your street
Trip and fall on your porch
Oops, your pumpkin was neat
But still I'm searching for candy
Fork it over to me
Or else I'll pee on your lawn
With my Hallowee-nie
In the middle of the night

[Bathroom break]

I'm not thrilled about your neighbor's supplies
God knows I've never been a Tootsie Roll fan
& Please explain it to those Globetrotter guys -
I'm just an innocent ghost and not the Ku Klux Klan

In the middle of the night
I go out to trick-or-treat
You can turn your lights off
But I'll never retreat
I will lean on your doorbell
I will stomp in the cold
Though I'm thirty years old

In the middle of the night

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 26

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   25

User Comments

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Troy - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Hahahaha, bloody good one, all 5s!!! Really well written and I pissed myself laughing especially on the line "Fork it over to me or else I'll pee on your lawn with my Hallowee-nie in the middle of the night".
Ashkicksass - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL Spaff! Halloween is favorite holiday. Can I come trick or treating with you?
Johnny D - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
So, gonna "Treat" us with this as your September SOTM entry that the last-minute voters will be looking at on Halloween Night at the end of October, eh? Frickin' genius! Tricky bastard! I LOVE IT! 5-5-5
Michael Pacholek - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Valuable advertising time going by... valuable advertising time going by... valuable advertising time going by... Another one run up the Spaff Staff, and see all of us salute! But, Spaff, you mention Charlie Brown (and don't point out that his "ghost sheet" had several holes, not two), and no mention of the Great Pumpkin? "You blockhead!"
Johnny D - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Michael, if I was trying to sell CDs of my parodies, I'd grab at every opportunity for free advertising, too ... it's a SMART business move for Spaff to post a clever Halloween-themed parody just before the end of September so it can get lots of Internet-exposure if he chooses to enter it in the September SOTM contest that will be going-on all through October up to and including Halloween!

Spaff, I think you're doing an extremely smart thing here for the benefit of your parody music business - - - I would do exactly the same thing myself if I wanted to promote a parody-CD business on my website, so I applaud your clever and shrewd business-move here.

And I consider it to be win-win for everybody: you, Spaff, get publicity for your parodies during September & October and potentially in the September SOTM contest during October - - - shrewdly culminating right at Halloween - - - while all the rest of us get to sit back, read, and enjoy laughing and smiling at another one of your delightful creations! Thank you, and I wish you lots and lots of profit$ !
Arwen - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Heehee...nice work, Spaff. 5s...
John Barry - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Scarily funny.
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
"Krackel whore", that could have been a South Park joke, or even an entire episode theme. LOL! :-)
2nz - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job on the rhymes throughout, my tricky friend. Among my highlights: the whole 'place/case' stanza, the whole 'fan/Klan' stanza and of course, the punchline. I'd echo what JD said about the holiday planning, but he seems to have beaten me to doing that too.
Jack Wilson - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!!!!!!! Hilarious as usual Spaff! 555! You da man!
Billy Florio - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
oh excellent work El Spaffo!! - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Troy & Sister Evenstar & Johngleberry & Peter chyd & Looney 2nz & Jackie & Billy DBA Florio!

Sister Kicksass: This Halloween, I'm hoping to be far far away from here, both physically and mentally. Does that present a problem?

Michaelopedia: I should know better than to try to slip anything past the master of all knowledge sublime and ridiculous. I remember a few ghosts - some with two holes, one with many. But I thought that the latter was one of the minor characters, not Charlie Brown himself. So, yes, I'm a blockhead. By the way, did you ever wonder if the story of Linus waiting in vain for the arrival of a supernatural being is subversively allegorical?

Johnny Divine: You're on to me - it's all about the money. Here's how shrewdly I operate my "parody music business": Take the vast amount of ca$h I've made off of "Elves Gone Wild" and divide it by the number of hours I've put into writing parodies and maintaining my website. The result is a small fraction of what I could be making sweeping the Wal-Mart parking lot. Pretty damn shrewd. I do admit to wrapping up this parody in September in hopes of having a few choices of what to enter in the SOTM - I may have another one up tomorrow - but that's as far as I thought it through. But, hey, I like the way your mind operates.
Johnny D - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Mighty Spaff: No offense was intended, sir - please take my jovial hallucinations about how shrewdly you plan to make your next $0.000000023 in your "parody music business" as a compliment, since that's how it's intended! I actually do hope that you realize more & more substantial financial rewards from your parodies in days to come...let's face it, if your parodies can inspire people to open their wallets, however briefly and modestly, that adds a pleasantly affirming dimension to the creative fun that ALL of us are enjoying here! At least that's how I see it. ESTRAGON: I'm tired of this. Let's go. VLADIMIR: Yes, yes, let's go. LINUS: We can't go. ESTRAGON: Why not? LINUS: We're Waiting For Gourdot. VLADIMIR & ESTRAGON: Oh...right.
Jack Wilson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff, you should do some Halloween parodies like you did Christmas ones - October 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Jackie: We'll see how they go over. Robert Lund opted not to record the one I wrote last year; we'll see what he does with this one. (I typically don't find out what he's up to until I receive an MP3 in my inbox.) Meanwhile, I read your list of Halloween parody ideas, and you've got some fun ones in there. Go for it.

Johnny Divine: No offense taken, of course. Don't get me wrong; I wouldn't mind getting rich off song parodies. I also wouldn't mind having the cast of The Stepford Wives show up naked at my door. Oh, and "Gourdot" is a great pun. I'll be hitting your parody shortly.
Arwen - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
So basically, you've got a thing for Jon Lovitz...or maybe Christopher Walken?

It's can admit it...
The Continental - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
That's telling him, my little wide-eyed DOE! Ah, my little sparrow, I see this parody has excited you...your lovely face, flushed red...your forehead, glowing...your magnificent bosom, heav-(WHACK!!!)uhhh......
Arwen - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL! Remember when The Continental's moustache just kept coming off...and he was trying SO hard not to laugh!! Classic. I also loved it when CW played Ed Glosser--Trivial Psychic...GQS! (good quality stuff...)
Paul Robinsonq - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff - It's clear you and Johnny D should go into business together, with your tremendously towering talent and his madly mischievous marketing genius you could both rich, or perhaps at least be confined in the same institution. By the way, this was a really good parody. The whole thing was great but I loved The "Krackel Whore" line the most. Do you how long it's been since I've been "Trick or Treating"? Think maybe about 40 years...
HERE'S ROBERT LUND'S RECORDING - October 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil Alexander - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this one, but not as much as most of your other stuff, Spaff.
Adagio - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff, I know what you mean. I'm probably in the top ten of money earners here from my creative efforts. This means that if I take all the money I've made from music and writing, subtract the cost of instruments, EQ, and expenses.....Why I've pissed away several fine automobiles and a house! (And I have)
Arwen - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM--I think you should stop trying, Spaff. You're never going to be any good at this...; )
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
It's not that often I *literally* find myself laughing out loud over something online--but your parody inspired just that reaction, Spaff. Marvelous imagery and puns ("Krackel whore" and "Halloweenie" stood out most). Fives all round!
Mom - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked it all except the "Krackel whore" and "Halloweenie". - October 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Uh-oh - it's generally not a good sign when your own mother points out what she DOESN'T like about your work.

Sister Evenstar (and Continental): Now that you mention it, I was, um, talking about the 1975 version. But you're right - Jon Lovitz is a hottie.

P-Rob: 40 years?! It's time to put yourself back in the game, man. That's the beauty of costumes - your neighbors think you're just a freakishly overgrown kid - so they feel sorry for you and give you extra candy.

Philbo: Dang - that's the same thing you said about my Halloween parody last year. Oh well, there's always 2005.

RAD: With that kind of track record, you should definitely keep doing this. We should start a record company - we could file for incorporation and bankruptcy on the same day.

Ingebordén: Too kind. Too kind.

Everyone: You gotta hear Robert Lund's recording of this - I think it turned out quite nicely.
Agrimorfee - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Your talent for humor is spooky! 555 (again)
Steven Cavanagh - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Spafftastic as usual. Loved the Halloweenie and KKK lines.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh, come on. Clever rhyming and subject matter coupled with impeccable hilarity was sooo last month.
John Jenkins - October 15, 2004 - Report this comment
As usual, a lot of good lines, rhymes, and a good finish.
Melhi - October 15, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM. I love Hallowe'en, I still dress up each year -- most years for both the Chamber of Commerce's costume contest (I've won every year I've entered) and to take my kids out trick or treating -- I also love this parody. I have a feeling I'll catch myself singing this one aloud as I take my kids out, this year. :)
Claude Prez - October 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it (& I AM a Krackel whore). Plus the last verse made me wonder if I missed an episode of that Harlem Globetrotters cartoon in the '70s. The recording's awesome, too.
Old Fart Paul Robinson - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM - Spaff, that may just be the right ticket...and I've already got the "Halloween Teeth" in place to pull this off...maybe I can get some "Gummy Bears" to gum on my way home...this one is still a treat...
martha - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent rhyming all through great stuff as ever!
Johnny D - October 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Peregrin - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh this got me in a the start "Like a Charlie Brown ghost, With two holes in a sheet", great imagery!
Meriadoc - October 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not up to your usual high standard, but I liked the "Krackle whore" line. :-) - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Belated thanx, Aggro & Stevenagh & Ralphing Luke & Johnkins & Grandmaster Mel & C4P & P-Old-Fart-Rob & Martha My Dear & Johnny DD (again) & Gollum & Smeagol. One of my 2005 resolutions is to write a Halloween parody that doesn't get "not your best work" comments. And I've said this before, but you oughtta check out Robert Lund's recording.
The Charnstar - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
WHOA! I am REALLY late on this one, but still, just wanted to say that AMAZING performance from Spaff, absolutely love it, can't wait for more parodies, and more recordings *wink wink wink/blink* **I can't wink 3 times... it's weird, don't ask** - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
WHOA! I am REALLY late on my thank-yous, Charnstar. Thank you.

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