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Song Parodies -> "One Weep"

Original Song Title:

"One Week"

Original Performer:

Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"One Weep"

Parody Written by:

Nancygal

The Lyrics

Satire about a man who's beaten up by his girlfriend... hope you actually find this funny.
It's been one week since you aimed at me:
Cocked the gun in your hand & said "I'm angry".
Five days since you kicked at me
Saying, "Get out the house, come back: I'll kill you".
Three days since the living room:
I realized I wasn't at fault, but didn't tell you.
Yesterday you'd have murdered me,
But it'll still be two days til I say I'm sorry.

Hold it now, please watch your temper
I know I can whimper
You'll think you're looking at supergirl.
I hide my head under the bed
And although I'm filled with dread
I tense my body cause you always hit me when you can.
Bruised like Frank Bruno when you get mad,
Like Staind, I feel sad
Because I'm all about being true.
And although I'll take a few hits
You find the best bits, you try to harm me
But I love you.
Gonna make a break, there's only so much I can take
I found a body in the lake.
I'd like a lover but I always pick a hater.
When I didn't know, no violence showed,
The love inside started to grow.
But now you're dangerous:
I'd like to find another.

How can I help it if I think you're crazy when you're mad?
Trying hard not to bail though I feel bad.
I'm the kind of guy who laughs in an argument,
Don't understand what I mean? Well, never mind.
I have a tendency of saying exactly what I think
You have a history of taking it wrong.

It's been week since you scowled at me.
Threw a vase through the air and screamed, "You're lazy!"
Five days since you shackled me:
I've still got the cuff marks on both feet.
It's been three days since the garden broom:
You realized I'd used the phone, tried to report you.
Yesterday, you had beaten me,
And now I lay in the corner til you think I'm sorry.

Clickity kinda, the phone keys' clicking.
I hold a broomstick but my brain's not tickin.
At the window with no lights on,
And when you come home
I hope your boss gave you a good day.
Like Tony Blair, I'm gettin nervous,
Like Pam, I'm curvous,
Like Clinton: lying out my backside.
Like Stephen King, you make me feel scared,
I'm feeling impaired,
I'm feeling I deserve another try.
Gonna jump you when you're home,
Gonna try & use the phone
Just so my mother knows I'm living with my girlfriend.
Gonna kick you in the ass
See if I can just run past
Should've really smoked some grass but now its over.

How can I help it if I think you're crazy when you're mad?
Trying hard not to bail though I feel bad.
I'm the kind of guy who laughs in an argument,
Don't understand what I mean? Well, never mind.
I have a tendency of saying exactly what I think,
You have a history of taking it wrong.

It's been one week since you looked at me,
Dropped your arms to the sides and said, "I'm sorry"
Five days since I laughed at you and said,
"You wouldn't do what I think that you're gonna do..."
Three days since the garden, too.
You realized you were all to blame, but what could I do?
Yesterday you just buried me,
And you still got two days til they find the body.

It'll still be two days til they find the body
It'll still be two days til they find my body
Dead in the garden, with ex-husband, Murrey.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
 1
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 5   5
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