It's been one week since I placed a bid
Then someone put in the same amount that I did
Five days since I bid again
I went a little higher, now I'm gonna win
Three days since the e-mail came
Said I've been outbid, I hate the mind games
Yesterday, I saw the auction end
And it'll still be two days until my stuff comes in

Hold it now, I'm seeing everything
I found a nice ring
I think it is a real diamond
The person says it's really rare, but if ain't, I still don't care
I'll place a bid because I really want to buy one
Pulling out my wallet with my charge card
Gonna bid hard
Because I'm all about winning
Place bids that make 'em say wow
I'm gonna 'Buy It Now', and win it right from the beginning
Gonna make a bid just like a kid
And then you'll see just what I did
I just bid higher and I won the auction from you
I'm gonna search and find the stuff
Because I never get enough
It's a dutch auction, so I'll go ahead a buy two

I cannot help it if I go to eBay all the time
They got the stuff and I want to make it all mine
Can hardly wait for the postman to bring the mail
My living room looks like a gigantic yard sale
I'm not addicted, I can quit when I want to
But not right now 'cause I just placed another bid

It's been one week since she looked at me
Threw her arms in the air and said I'm crazy
Five days since she packed her things and said
'I can't believe you gave me such a cheap ring'
Three days since she's been gone
I haven't even left my chair or turned the lights on
Yesterday, I saw my auction end
But it'll still be two days before my stuff comes in

Imported China, a rubber chicken
Other people's junk makes my pulse rate quicken
Sittin' at my 'puter with no lights on
My credit line's gone
By I gotta win the next one
Just found Transformers and some Gobots
I'm shouting 'Great Scott!'
Because I think it's really nifty
I found an unopened Megatron
You know, the old gun
Starting at $1.50
This guy is getting on my nerves
I gotta beat the high reserves
To pay for this one, I will have to trade my Cadillac
And now my PayPal doesn't work
The feedback says that I'm a dork
My checks are bouncing
And the sellers want their stuff back

I cannot help it if I go to eBay all the time
I want to win it, so I'll bid to my last dime
Can hardly wait for the postman to bring the mail
I'm running out of money, so I think I'll have a yard sale
I'm not addicted, I can quit when I want to
But not right now 'cause I just placed another bid

It's been one week since they evicted me
I guess I couldn't stay there rent free
Five days since they sold my stuff
I guess all those bargains weren't worth enough, it took
Three days in my living room
Getting rid of all my junk with a push broom
Yesterday, I was broke again
But it'll still be two days before my stuff comes in

But it'll still be two days before Megatron comes in
My IDs revoked... they won't let me sign in
Check your computer, tell me- did I win?