I swear
Every time that I stub my big toe
On a chair
And I swear
When I get to the bank and it's closed

I'm a bit clumsy, don't know why
Guess I'm a klutzy kind of guy
I can get hurt just throwing Nerf balls

For me
Medical coverage is a must
There's not a sidewalk I can trust
And though I'm fully awake
I never break my fall

And I swear
Every time that I stub my big toe
On a chair
And I swear
When I step on a rake or a hoe
I stomp and I curse
And that's the worst part
Whenever I crash and destroy my golf cart
Then I swear

I get in trouble with my mouth
Suddenly angry words come out
I can't control my temper at all

And then I start to tantrum once again
I throw my pencils, then my pens
And after every mistake
Jump up and down till I fall

And I swear
When I get to the bank and it's closed
It's not fair
And I swear
When I spill on my pants and it shows
It only gets worse when somebody farts
Or when I start losing at poker or darts
Then I swear

And I swear
That I'll try to get counseling or drugs
'Cause I care
And swear
That I'll take Meditation for Thugs
I'll duct tape my mouth
Or stuff in a plug
And don't forget maybe I could use a hug
When I swear
Oh, I swear