When the ghost appears,
you'll be running away.
Avoiding Daphne and Thelma,
like you're some kinda gay. (Yeah!)
Forget Scooby-Doo,
buy yourself a pug.
That way you can save money,
and buy yourself some drugs. (Yeah!)

Chorus: Shaggy's nothing but a crackhead.
He'll O.D. til' he's almost dead.
He'll hear more than one voice inside.

Think you're seeing ghosts.
I'll say this instead,
They're just hallucinations,
comin' outta your head. (Yeah!)
While he's shooting up,
by the way that's a sin.
Get's so high,
that the needle points break off in his chin. (Yeah!)

(Chorus)

Freddie's just a fruit,
Daphne acts like a ho.
Thelma's just a nerd,
and Scooby we don't know. (Yeah!)

(Repeat chorus twice)