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Song Parodies -> "Knocked it from the Ledge"

Original Song Title:

"Livin' on the Edge"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Aerosmith

Parody Song Title:

"Knocked it from the Ledge"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

Amiright Reunion July Edition which also works as a sequel to my 2008 parody "Damn Kitten" parody of Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten"
There's something wrong with my cat methinks
That fuzzball little shit
Drops my stuff from up high
He mauls my things like they are his prey
That Cod-breathed fleabag twit
Secured junk with zip-ties

Yeah!

He knocked it from the ledge
Right over the edge
Swung just like a sledge
Crashed into my hedge

There's something wrong with his feline brain
My Big Gulp met his limb
My floorboards once were dry (Gaaaaaah!)
If he can budge it his plan
Is to make my trophies twist
Then shatter, Watch that critter splash my pie! Oh!

-["Stupid kitty" is repeated in the background]-
He knocked it from the ledge! (I can't keep my things from fallin')
Pussyfooting pledge! (All my valuables he'll brawl)
Need to run and fetch! (Priceless heirlooms he'll keep clawin')
Knocked it from the ledge!

Tell me what to do about my pet's obsession
His profession's my aggression
This pest is so rude!
Yeah!
If kitten wants to make my mother's vase go flyin'
In under a second you might catch me cryin'
Sweepin' scraps
With a broom and dustpan
I'll dash in a flash heard a crash it's all smashed when it's bashed


=[Guitar Solo as Matthias cleans up after his dumbass cat]=


Yeah! Tell me why my cat leads a life of destruction
Cash deduction's his seduction my goods are abused
Yeah!
If kitten wants to make this place a fire hazard
Tilts all of my candles to leave a disastor
Wax is spread
I bet he wants me dead
His head makes me dread, This shed's my deathbed

There's someone smart in my house, It's me!
And not my freakin' stupid cat!
Since I could tell him no and yet my stuff is broke
Think I should trade him for a dog!


=[Silence then pounding as Matthias' cat knocks more stuff over]


-["Stupid kitty" is repeated in the background]-
Knocked it off the ledge! (Made my abode look appallin')
Eggs gave off a stench (Need a catlike voodoo doll)
The ground's getting drenched (I just blew through my whole wallet)
That smell made me retch!

What the bloody heck?!
Spent my whole paycheck!
Everything's a wreck!
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

Chaos must be quenched (Wanna smack him when he's smackin')
Wants to seek revenge (My expensive art he gnaws)
Blew through all my cents (Catnip's crack so crap he's crackin')
Fixing all those dents

Knocked it off the ledge! (Plopped straight from my shelf, Plopped straight from my shelf)
Record signed by Beck (My Christmas gifts from the mall)
Gonna wring his neck (Toppled from my shelf, Toppled from my shelf)
Vincent Van Gogh sketch (Redesigned my shelves, Redesigned my shelves)
Sad pathetic wretch! (Damage should be 'gainst the law)
Knocked it off the ledge!
Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Agrimorfee - July 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Damn. Klutzy Parkour Kitty on the move. Damn! Damn! Damn.
JAB - July 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Bet you wish the beast were catatonic.
Peter Andersson - July 31, 2018 - Report this comment
And why do they do that I wonder? Haven't really thought about it, but we had cats when I was a kid, so I'm familiar with the phenomenon. Do wild cats sneak/climb up to knock out eggs from bird's nest to eat them in relative peace on the ground? Probably something like that I'd guess.

Nice internal rhyming in the "I'll dash in a flash heard a crash it's all smashed when it's bashed" line.
Meriadoc - July 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Matthias I feel your pain. Kitten once knocked my 100-year old clock off the mantle. More destructive than the '89 quake....
Andy Primus - July 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Great rhyming here. My cat died a while back at age 19. She didn't do much damage in her last few years but was a wrecking ball before that
Stuart McArthur - August 01, 2018 - Report this comment
The "someone smart in your house (you)" is also the someone who bought and raised this agent of destruction, Matty, so no sympathy from me sorry. And no visits from me either, until you can assure me this terrorist has passed into Cat Hell. Some very funny lines - 555

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