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Song Parodies -> "Won't Wear Your Wedding Ring"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

Original Performer:

Aerosmith

Parody Song Title:

"Won't Wear Your Wedding Ring"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

You won’t stay away! You ignored my screaming!
In denial you're always thinking
That you’ll get me once I’m drinking
You won’t be my wife… I’m sick of all your chatter
If you’re the last chick on the planet (Ewwwww) Won’t matter
Cause a second spent with you just makes my brain splatter!!!

I don’t want to hear your cries!
Of how you think I’m so sweet
I’d rather have rabies!
Before I’d have your wedding ring!
You’re angry and constantly rude
But still you want to get me nude
Will not get me naked!
And won’t wear your wedding ring!

Trying pick up lines, “Did you fall from Heaven?”
I ask you what drugs you are smoking
Flirt with me you must be joking!
When you touch my thigh your nails felt like scissors!
I never want a date with you your B.O. gives me shivers!
Your kisser has blisters!

Cause you girl are no prize!
Instead you are such a creep
Quit stalking me! Weirdo!
Cause I won’t wear your wedding ring!
You always watch my Facebook page
Which I admit is kinda strange!
My status won’t change
Still won’t wear your wedding ring!

Can’t stand your repulsive style!
Or how you’re reeking of cat piss!
Cause you never touched shampoo
While your teeth ooze want to kiss
Honestly you’re way too gross!
Your nastiness should be a crime!
Could try to log on Craigslist
But you would waste your time!
(Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!!!!)

I think my soul just died
When you asked to marry me!
I won’t give you babies!
And I won’t wear your wedding ring!
Those horror movies on the tube
Aren’t quite as frightening as you!
I’d get hitched to Freddy
Before I’d wear your wedding ring!

Your stench is drawing in flies
Makes my eyes water and weep
To say that you’re smelly
Is an insult to those who stink!
Cause even if you learned Kung Fuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!
And threatened me to marry you
I would still stay single
Missing teeth but no wedding ring!

Try asking other guys!
They’d all say the same thing, Yeah!!!
“We won’t wear your wedding ring!”

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   2
 2
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 5   11
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Chance Gollnick - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
I love this parodie it's hiliarious, i had an ex girlfriend who used to call this "our" song. So way to stick in a fork in it good job! :)
Jeff Reuben - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Funny, a repulsive, clingy, stalker wife wannabe. It sounds like you found a winner!
Below Average Dave - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Looks like after I was "Ditchin My Bride" she found you. . . fun idea, 555
Dude Needs A Real Lady - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
She sounds like a big ugly money-grabber. She's so desperate for a man but she really wants a sugar daddy. What a nymph! An absolute horny toad! Some people may say she wants more than a one-night-stand or to shack up but she's a horny DOUSCHBAG. Yeeeccchhh! I love your parody - very funny and true to life. Oh yeah, Aerosmith ROX.
Christie Marie M - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow, amazing how this 'skunk' was haunting you. Not a pretty sight! Great job and funny parody, Matt! 555.
Matthias - August 18, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks all! This is the first one of a 20-something long Aerosmith parody project (Yeah, I know I take on way too many projects but I always loved Aerosmith and found him way too under appreciated in my song list on Amiright).
Abbott Skelding - November 11, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC(WX)- Sadly, this is one of my least favorite Aerosmith songs, but this is an excellent spoof! 555
Mark Scotti - November 14, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC) Give you 555 for the ring? LOL...Great one, Matthias!
Below Average Dave - November 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Not sure what Kung Fu has to do with the parody, a few random lines like that one, but overall very funny, particularly the "When you touch my thigh your nails felt like scissors! I never want a date with you your B.O. gives me shivers!" couplet.
Matthias - November 16, 2010 - Report this comment
Dave: You're probably not going to see this comment but it does make sense with the rest of the parody. I'll PM you to make sure you see this before you vote because it's important. The "Learning Kung Fu" line is meant to mean that even if she would kick his ass his opinion of this woman would not change (even if he was threatened to marry her) which is why the following line deals with him missing teeth.
Below Average Dave - November 16, 2010 - Report this comment
I apologize Matty--but that line seems randomly thrown in no matter how you look at it--it comes out of left field. I see the line that ties it in afterward--you realize you have a tendency to focus on the negative and not the positive, you know my commentary is very honest, its just how I felt about the way it came out when the rest of the parody seemed to be, well in honestly-about her smells, and very vivid random examples like rabies and Craigslist--but its not bad, as I said it was a funny parody, just some lines seemed a bit out of place, anyway, back to work, I'm preparing for mid-terms
Agrimorfee - November 24, 2010 - Report this comment
All the world loves a lover...in this case we'll make an exception.
Guy - November 28, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC-WX

Matt - This pegged the "Yuck Meter". I was going to have some breakfast but I think I'll wait a bit until the mental image of your write leaves the old gray matter.

You did a good job with clichés in this write. The best one is:

"To say that you’re smelly
Is an insult to those who stink!"

I LOLed at that couplet. No five golden rings for you this Christmas, huh, at least not with this creature. But here's five golden votes. Fine write.
bobpiecheese - November 28, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC5) First, LOL at Agri's Bugs Bunny quote. Second, great parody here. I liked the Kung Fu bit, really exemplified how steadfast the singer is. Third, 555.

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