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Song Parodies -> "Steve's Diner"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Steve's Diner"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The future of Aerosmith: Steven Tyler leaves rock and roll behind to take on his life long passion of cooking, sadly he doesn't know how to cook.
I burnt the sauerkraut
And dried the lettuce thin
I need, “Cooking For Dummies”
To help me in my kitchen

Cut myself with a knife
And now the pasta’s stained
You smell my food
And Faint!

There’s a paperclip
In the casserole
Yeah, I thought I could cook
But my burgers taste like coal


When my oven’s on fire
Due to the French fries
And my dishes are full
Of flies!

It’s My Cooking!
Saw the blink of an eye (My fish are sure a fright!)
It’s My Cooking!
When the dessert arrives, you’ll be chugging down your Sprite
It’s My Cooking!
And I’m serving some Tums for infected guts tonight

A chef of pain, torture, and creation
So how hot would you like your chicken wings?
On a gurney for your operation
That’s the last time you’ll eat my homemade onion rings


I need to learn to bake
And also learn to cook
But I can’t do neither, even from the book
Oh no!
Come and try the frog’s legs
Oops! They’re still alive
I’ll go make them

It’s My Cooking!
Since you saw how I fry, you’re scared to take a bite
It’s My Cooking!
With each platter of food your skin it grows more white
It’s My Cooking!
I’ve become the slayer of the decrepit tongues tonight!

The decrepit tongues!
And infected guts!

(A customer tries to argue with Steven Tyler about his awful food, but since his tongue died he just starts randomly yelling)

(Guitar Solo, While Steven Tyler prepares even more disastrous food)

“So from all of us at Steve’s Diner
To all of you out there in the dining room.
Remember, to tip your waiter, and don’t puke.
Thank You”

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Invisible Boy - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Lots of funny images...I can just see Steve with a chefs hat and a show on the Food Network. Got to go. Time for lunch.
Jack Wilson - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome as usual! 5s
Kristof Robertson - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Tyler in a kitchen? I'll pass on THAT dining experience...."Lovin' A Meatloaf Platter" anyone? :-D 555
Dee Range - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Luckily, you write much better than you cook!
Rick C - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Funny idea and parody. 555
MrMacphisto - December 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Yet another reason to not trust a skinny chef... 5-5-5
Red Ant - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
This is one of your best, Matthias. Great job on a tough OS, and the exclamations on the accented parts of the song worked really well. 555
Agrimorfee - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Two great Artistry submissions in a row! Great subs: "I'm serving Tums..." "decrepit tongues"..."On a gurney.." You cooked up a great one!
littleCupCakes - December 10, 2007 - Report this comment
It cooks!
bobpiecheese - December 14, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Steve's the one with the gigantic mouth, isn't he? That'd work for the food business. Excellent work as usual!
Rex - December 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Artistry voting's going to be tough this time. Excellent work.
Below Average Dave ( - December 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Very good job, very reminiscent of my own That's My Cooking, seems to be a good theme. . .You have gone from good to veteran in the short time I've been here (ok, so I'm at a year now which means I'm not exactly a newbie anymore, but still)
Cat - December 20, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Gross-food parodies never get old, and this was excellent! I cracked up at the frog-legs line.
Mikey Squirrel - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Artistry- Mmmm sounds like a great little greasy spoon you have there. Hey, isn't greasy spoons actually on the menu, too? Very funny and well done, Matthias.
Jack Wilson - December 21, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
EmiLoca - January 09, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hilarious imagery, and what a tough OS! Terrific job. Only a few pacing errors and they don't detract from the parody at all. Way to go. :)
Max Power - January 10, 2008 - Report this comment
555 bills and a beating with a folding stool
Peter Andersson - January 11, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - So those lips of Steven are actually the result of burn marks from hot food? Very good pacing, funny and an overall 5 to go.
McKludge - January 12, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - Funny idea and good rhyme matching with the OS, but a few minor pacing issues. A good poach/roach couplet would have made it even better. 455
Michael E Cormier - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Cool song but gotta agree with pacing issues. 455
Guy - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM Dec 2007) - I heard that one of Steve's Christmas presents was a bright orange sign with black lettering that stated "DANGER MAN COOKING". Don't ever try to barbeque saurkraut - you'll get what Steve got. Food makes for a staple parody even if it is non starchy. I was hungry before I read this but now I've seemed to lose my appetite.
Invisible Boy - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above
bobpiecheese - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above! Still delicious!
stuart mcarthur - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Funny idea Matthias to use one of Steve's songs to take him out of Aerosmith and into a diner - and that "turns his skin all white" thing explains the complexion of his daughter - 555
Phil Alexander - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thought I'd commented on this one already.. the vote didn't take, though, so I must have been here. Anyway, this is kind of fun (even if I did want to sing "I burnt the sauerkraut" to the tune of "I shot the Sheriff")
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Great imagery, a tough OS....kudos
Below Average Dave ( - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can't say anything I haven't already, a sure sign of your continued progression towards the top tier of parodists on AmIRight.
Jack Wilson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
See above,twice!
Jeff Reuben - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Funny song, great job lampooning Steve Tyler as the subject of his own song.
Mikey Squirrel - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- Commented before, a menu definitely worth a second look.

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