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Song Parodies -> "Seven of Nine"

Original Song Title:

"The Edge of Heaven"

Original Performer:

Ace of Base

Parody Song Title:

"Seven of Nine"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

If you aren't familiar with the character Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager, you can find info here: I have also included a few footnotes to help this parody make sense to the non-Trek community.
Borg (1)
Every mind linked in a collective
I can feel them calling out to me
And here on Voyager
The viewscreen shows a picture
Of a cube-shaped ship
Approaching fast through the galaxy

If you try to fight
Then you will be assimilated
Once they have you in their sight
Won’t stop until you’re integrated
And they hate that I’m liberated

Captured me when I was a child
They took away my will to socialize
And yet I’m human now
I wear a skin-tight outfit
So much hotter than
That Vulcan chick on the Enterprise (2)

When I came aboard
I had a lot of Borg attachments
Universal power cord
A few interior compartments
And titanium undergarments
(We were never bored
Always having full employment)
We all obeyed the queen
Heard she almost scored
But Data chose against ingraftment (3)
And defeated her for the moment

(Now I’m on my own
And there are lots of things I’m learning)
Like how to shotgun a beer
(When I used to be a drone
I never felt these female yearnings)
I need a chocolate bar
(Feeling like I’ve grown
I think I’m getting more discerning)
Won’t date Ferengi this year (4)
(Though my future is unknown
I don’t think that it’s too concerning)
‘Cause I’m now a Star Trek star


(3) The Borg queen and the android Lt. Commander Data tangled in the movie Star Trek: First Contact. The Borg queen attempted to seduce Data to her side by grafting skin onto him, thereby helping him toward his goal of becoming more human.


Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
I'd give ya fives just for including the ?word "ingraftment" ! (Universal power cord also tickled my Tiberius.) Here's a collective fifteen for you!
AFW - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Humorous and interesting
Rex - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
TY, TJC and AFW!
Matthias - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
I loved the line about the Universal Power Cord, good work on this one yeh Trekkie!
Max Power - May 19, 2007 - Report this comment
789 but not 555, good work.
Agrimorfee - May 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) You paced this very difficult song excellently, and took some risks with the ryhme schemes...the parody lyrics really matched with the song's style, too! Nice job, Rex!
bobpiecheese - May 23, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) A Trekkie parody! I never thought I'd see one. And this first one gave me the best first impression I've ever gotten! If that makes sense.
Rex - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Matthias, Max, Ag, and bobpie.
Below Average Dave - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Rex. . .honestly. . . who are you? I was impressed in round 1, but this? This is Kristof Robertson, Stu McArthur quality--I feel great to know that someone of such quality writing is participating alongside me in this competition. . .I can say without question , of the first 6 entries this is my favorite, and that's saying a lot because Matthias' and Agrimorfee's are both top of the line too--Your knowledge of Star Trek is very good--and it was funny--I happen to be a fan of all Sci-Fi, and of course that includes "Star Trek", so Thank you for this parody.
Rex - May 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, thanks for the high praise Dave. Maybe you'll honor me by performing one of my parodies from (hint, hint). :-)
Ethan Mawyer - May 29, 2007 - Report this comment
This was good...I had some trouble following at times probably because I found the original song boring.
Syncronos - May 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Anyone who knows Star Trek can't help but laugh. Resistance is FUTILE! 5-5-5
Rex - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Ethan and Synchronos.

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