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Song Parodies -> "Only "Flu""

Original Song Title:

"Only You"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Only "Flu""

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Every year >35000 people die from influenza in the US alone - estimates range from quarter to half a million worldwide. Don't you think that the current hysteria over a few dozen deaths in Mexico and a handful elsewhere might just be a wee bit overstated?
Reading a news story about
How we'll soon be wiped out
By mutations
Started off in Mexico
But soon it'll go
To all nations

They're trying hard to make us comprehend
Telling us the world is gonna end
They're really in a stew
Over "Flu"

Influenza isn't a breeze
It's a nasty disease
It's a killer
Whether it's from birds or from swine
Or maybe next time
From gorilla

Poor reporting makes me wearier
Ignorance spreading hysteria
They haven't got a clue
About "Flu"

Why are people always so dense
Why can't they get a sense
Of proportion
Tens of thousands die each year: true
From "ord'nary" flu
(And abortion)

Twitter twits wittering wantonly
Spreading panic pandemic-ally
So what's a guy to do?
Only "Flu"

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Johnny D - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
"It was once said that a black man would be President "when pigs fly." Indeed, 100 days into Obama's presidency, swine flu." -Tola
Susanna Viljanen - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Another beautiful song from my teenage years - this was a lovely both as a parody and as a reality check. Fives.
Mark Scotti - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
5 sneezes to you, for the absolute truth...
Arwen - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved this, Phil...and to a sentimental favorite OS, too!

I think people, in general, subconsciously thrive on having something to freak out about. It drives me crazy.

I live in Wyoming, where (so far as I know) there haven't been any cases reported. That, however, hasn't stopped everyone from almost dying of fright every time I sneeze, due to my current cold.
John Barry - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
You and TT have nailed it, media-wise.
Jim Rotondo - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliantly written Phil, prescribing 555 antibiotics for you.
Tommy Turtle - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
...and every year, in the US, 10,000 people die from GI bleeding caused by taking aspirin or Ibuprofen, 40,000 from traffic accidents, 16,000 from murder, usually by a relative, friend, or acquaintance, half a million from smoking, over-drinking, obesity, and other "lifestyle diseases...

What John Barry said ... oops., strike that as immodest... I vote this 80-80-80. (If the story is hyped, might as well hype the vote lol)
The Platters and Gene Pitney - April 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Platters: Hey, what about this title to our hit, "Only You (And You Alone)?

Gene Pitney: Or "Only Love Can Break A Heart" = "Only Flu Gives Such A Start"?

Tommy Turtle: "Only Phil (and Phil A.- lone)" ... Only Phil Could Write So Smart". Thanks for coming down from R'nR Heaven to share those ideas, guys.
Phil Alexander - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, all :-)

...nothing much to add. Other than that I performed this one at an open mike last night - got a pretty good reception.
MIKE STOBBE, AP Medical Writer - May 01, 2009 - Report this comment
2145 pm UTC 1 May 2009
ATLANTA – The swine flu virus that has frightened the world is beginning to look a little less ominous. New York City officials reported Friday that the swine flu still has not spread beyond a few schools. In Mexico, very few relatives of flu victims seem to have caught the virus.

One flu expert says there's no reason to believe the new virus is a more serious strain than seasonal flu. And a federal health official said the new flu virus doesn't appear to have genes that made the 1918 pandemic flu strain so deadly.


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