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Song Parodies -> "To All the Churls Who Stole Our Girls"

Original Song Title:

"To All the Girls I've Loved Before"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson & Julio Iglesias

Parody Song Title:

"To All the Churls Who Stole Our Girls"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

To all the churls who stole our girls
who bought them cars and strings of pearls.
I think that you're so wrong.
I dedicate this song
to all the churls who stole our girls.

To Michael Douglas' ancient bones.
He stole Ms. Catherine Zeta-Jones.
The girl of the century.
Also his age, you see.
And I don't think there's no Zeta-Clones.

Brad Pitt stole Angelina Jolie.
Before, Jennifer Aniston.
Before, Jennifer Love-Hewitt.
I think that he is such a bum.

To Tony Parker, hate for ya.
You took our Eva Longoria.
I hate you, Tommy Lee
for taking Pam's DDs.
Hope she left you feeling quite, sore, yeah.

Some guys like singing done by Seal.
But he took Heidi Klum, so what's the deal?
Tom Cruise took Katie Holmes.
Not much inside their domes.
Such theft makes lots of men just squeal.

For Uma Thurman I was crowing.
But she shacked up with Ethan Hawke.
He cheated on her, she was going.
She should have listened to me squawk!

To that slimy Marc Anthony.
Like most, I thought, "J-Lo's for me."
And now they've got the twins.
I'd like to see his grins
and punch him, give him agony.

To all the churls who stole our girls
who bought them cars and strings of pearls.
I think that you're so wrong.
I dedicate this song
to all the churls who stole our girls.

I think that you're so wrong.
I dedicate this song
to all the churls who stole our girls.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   6
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stan Hall - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Enjoyed the parody. Don't love the OS and could never stand Iglesias. :-)
alvin - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
stole fives from me...i echo stan's comments about the song and artist
2Eagle - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Like "Sometimes when We Touch" this is a song I love to hate - good mangling.
littleCupCakes - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I know your frustration, Sir . . . Perhaps a tune about the girls who get dropped by these Churlish cads! Sir Michael, ~Le Marquis o'Burning Heart~ cheer up , Sir , about Lady Catherine. At least she is happy & in the best of hands!
Invisible Boy - April 03, 2008 - Report this comment
This is a fun OS to destroy. "Churl" seems to be the word of the day/week/month. Nice job here Michael.
Peregrin - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Agreed. Damn churls. A jihad on them all.

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