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Song Parodies -> "Focke-Wulf Falcon"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Focke-Wulf Falcon"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Fw-187 Falke (Falcon) could have been one of the greatest military aircraft of WW2 and one of the best multi-roles equal to the Mossie, Ju-88, and Fw-190. However, being a private venture by Focke-Wulf, it was used for mere propaganda while the Luftwaffe was stuck with the Me Bf 110 Zerstorer (Destroyer) that proved a failure during the Battle of Britain but redeemed itself late in the war as a decent nightfighter. Anyway, by early 1939 the V6 (6th prototype) was fitted with two early DB 600A engines and made 392 mph- faster than the Me Bf 109 fighter! It was to be armed with 4x 7.92mm MG-17 in the nose and 2x20mm MG FF cannons in the wings! It had a climb of 3500 fpm and ceiling of 33,000 ft- not at all bad for 1939. Six prototypes were built + 3 A-0s which were sent to Norway as part of a propaganda campaign to convince Britain that it was in production just like the He-100D. It was not. The Luftwaffe pilots in Norway wanted the Falke but the uproar caused the RLM (German Air Ministry) to recall the aircraft. At least one of the aircraft performed factory defense at Bremen in the end and might have shot down an aircraft or two (unconfirmed due to chaos), but all that effort and design work was wasted. If the Falke had been in the BoB then the Me Bf 109E would not have had to perform triple escort duties for the bombers, Stukas, and the Bf 110!!! The Falke could have easily fought the Hurris and Spits b/c of superior performance and armament. Fitted with latter DB 603 or 605 engines with superchargers and MW boosters, the speed would have climbed well over 450 mph and armament could have been changed to 6x 20mm MG-151/20s or 4x 30mm MK-108 + 2x 20mm MG-151/20s! Add bombs, torpedos, rockets, BK cannon, ASMs, etc... and you have a competitor to the Mossie. Add oblique cannons and engine dampeners with IR sights and you have a nightfighter. Add pressurized cabin and stripped of armament- a very fast recon bird. And the possibilities go on. This is one of my favorite "What-If" aircraft of WW2... a tragedy!
Focke-Wulf Falcon
RLM numbered 1-8-7
In 1939 was fastest twin-engine
And much better than the Bf “One-Ten”

Focke-Wulf Falcon
So sad thinking what could have been
Almost 400 (mph) on DB engines
And much better than the Bf “One-Ten”

Focke-Wulf Falcon
It could have been the best multi-role of its day
MGs and cannons
But instead only three were sent to Norway
A false display, to gain attention

RLM numbered 1-8-7
In 1939 was fastest twin-engine
And much better than the Bf “One-Ten”

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

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Porfle Popnecker - April 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Yippie-ki-yay, Focke-Wulf Falcon.
Rob Arndt - April 26, 2012 - Report this comment
A sad story and the Germans had lots of cases like this where an excellent weapon was neglected or passed over for political reasons. Heinkel, for example, was out of favor with the Nazis so no 4-engined strategic bomber and no jet bomber from his company. Heinkel built both anyway as the He-177B (reality was He-277) and then had a 4-engine being built in France as He-274 which was not completed in time. French used it postwar for a while!!! Heinkel tested a jet with the He-219 as test-bed and then was building the He-343 jet bomber when work stopped in 1944 (was put into component storage). And they had the lead with the atomic bomb, had an excellent PzKpfw VII Lowe design that was passed over, and so many other things that might have won them the war in Russian and on the Continent.

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