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Song Parodies -> "Need My Aspartame"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Need My Aspartame"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Dedicated to Jon!!!
Need my aspartame
Sweet poison of Equal fame
200 times sweeter than sugar studies claim
Diet Coke, love it, it kills my brain!

Need my aspartame
50% Phenylalanine
40% Aspartic Acid with 10% Methanol thrown in
Do not care, contents do not offend

Need my aspartame
Diet Pepsi lied about how they threw it away
Additives still in
Sucralose and Acesulfame Potassium
Just switched, but still the addiction

If you think you've won, there's no escape
Aspartame's in food and gum, cough drops, and other things you ate (like yogurt)
Depression and neuro damage is your fate

But Diet Coke, I still love the taste
Drinking aspartame until I reach the grave!!!

Diet Coke forever!!!
Note: I love Diet Pepsi and Diet Dr. Pepper too!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Patrick - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Never liked artificial sweeteners. Poisonous metallic taste. I'll risk the cane sugar. Last time I drank a Coke, I made sure to get the Mexican product. That was the difference between real Coke and New Coke, the new stuff had corn syrup. For orthodox Jews, corn syrup is not approved for Passover, but cane sugar is. Another reason the Mexican Coke is so popular.
Rob Arndt - August 25, 2015 - Report this comment
Pepsi uses beet sugar...

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