I should have known
When I boarded the airliner
Sir Stinky Bowels
Would be sitting on my right

Some woman who's anxious
Having hyperventilation
On my left she's sitting
Man, I'm gonna hate this flight

I try to get a seat reassignment
But I'm wasting my time
Some guy shoves bags in the bin
Crushing my overnight case
I can hear the stitching rupture
And the flight entertainment
Is a 9-11 film

We're on the tarmac
So, can we please depart?

Why do I endure this headache
Wish I took the train
I wish I had a case of beer
When I'm flying in a plane
And it's bloody inhumane
Flying in a plane

Then some old boorish guy
In the seat in front of my seat
Starts his seat reclining
'Til his headrest hits my chest
Pilot, let's get going
Or I'll start a revolution
Let me say this delicate --
TAKE OFF OR I'LL GO MAD!

And right behind me
Is some Simpson kid named Bart

And the intercom plays Whitesnake
Driving me insane
It's such a dropkick to the rear
When you're flying on a plane

They don't care if you complain
It can be a royal pain
When you're flying on a plane

Please bring me whiskey
C'mon, where's the beverage cart?

Up in first class there's a clambake
Bottles of champagne
But we get “pay and pray” back here
As we're flying in a plane

And we're treated with disdain
And my luggage went to Spain
So I really can't explain
Why I'm flying in a plane
Flying in a plane