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Song Parodies -> "Wife searched for p*rn with Ken"

Original Song Title:

"Don't break my heart again"

Original Performer:

Whitesnake

Parody Song Title:

"Wife searched for p*rn with Ken"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

The original song is from 1981, I still play it in my car.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
I try to take in browser history - of my love
Because I found her shibboleth
I've seen enough since logging on
At PM 8 of yesterday
Everyday I'm at work, it seems
Barbie's surfing after p*rn
It's hard to get more limpified
Than from dumbshow Ken a-humping hoes

Time's at an end, I hear the gong
And I've been scanning these pages far too long
I've seen enough to prepare for the fuss
Brothers, awake! It could be your puss!

Wife searched for p*rn with Ken
Like she did before
Wife googled p*rn with Ken
I will review it no more

She's learned to hide the pictures online
And use a geriatric modem to call
But missed that even with an XP cache
A bill from Telco won't be small
From all the Kens I've seen I know
Where this cache will lead us to
Because it's backed up every Friday
And there's also pics of G.I Joe

Time's at an end, I hear her trip
As I'm a-sitting here waiting unequipped
I've heard enough, I'm prepared for her gruff
Brothers, awake! It could be your muff!

Wife searched for p*rn with Ken
Like she did before
Wife googled p*rn with Ken
And G.I Joe as a whore

Wife searched for p*rn

(AND THIS IS THE PART WHERE A PERM-MULLETED FEMININE-LOOKING 80s SOLO-GUITARIST USUALLY INDULGED ITSELF IN SOME EXCITED FINGERWORK)

Wife searched for p*rn with Ken
Like she did before
Wife googled p*rn with Ken
I've been to soft heretofore

Wife searched for p*rn with Ken
Like she did before
Wife googled p*rn with Ken
I threw her down on the floor

Wife searched for p*rn with Ken
Like she did before
Wife googled p*rn with Ken
And had MY harddrive restored!

© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - October 16, 2015 - Report this comment
If only Ruth Handler could've read this! 555! Btw, Peter, I've done some extensive Bild Lilli parodies, the German prostitute doll that preceded Barbie and on which Barbara Millicent Roberts is based! Bild Lilli originated with a comic in Bild Zeitung newspaper in 1952. By 1955 German toy maker O.M. Hauser had made an adult doll sold at local chemists as wedding and entertainment gifts. Ruth Handler bought a few while on vacation to Europe and her husband (who worked for Mattel) had it redesigned. By 1959 Barbie appeared (named after their daughter). Ken then appeared (named after their son). Despite American icon status, many "American" things are actually of German origin. A typical Bild Lilli original from the '50s goes for $8000-10,000!
Rob Arndt - October 16, 2015 - Report this comment
1958 Bild Lilli movie with Danish actress Ann Smyrner as Lilli: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-f4VQ4H6xtBs/T1EKeE7296I/AAAAAAAACyg/3xDihnhwIDw/s320/Lilli01.jpg
Rule 34 - October 16, 2015 - Report this comment
A porno flick featuring a Ken doll? That would be this movie, among others: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0310717/

There's probably even worse stuff than that out there.
Rob Arndt - October 17, 2015 - Report this comment
Ann Smyrner as Bild Lilli: http://www.bellazon.com/main/uploads/monthly_08_2010/post-37737-1282230171.jpg
Rob Arndt - October 17, 2015 - Report this comment
For the record, Bild Lilli appeared in 1955, Barbie in 1959, and Ken in 1964.
Meriadoc - October 18, 2015 - Report this comment
I bet GI Joe was the more entertaining of the two... Kudos for working guitarasm into the interval music.
Peter Andersson - October 18, 2015 - Report this comment
Thanks Rob, Rule 34 and Meriadoc. From browser history to female toy history, I'll see if I can come up with an idea for that.
Rob Arndt - October 18, 2015 - Report this comment
As an American, I can claim the Barbie icon... but the German in me finds Bild Lilli better. She was the original and I once invested in 3 of the dolls for $1000 ( 1 extremely rare repro and 2 HK perfect knock offs). Sold to an antiques dealer later for $3000 with custom case, Bild Lilli German movie on VHS, and a book of her cartoons! I would advise anyone who can buy an original to do so. They never lose value. The '59 Barbie had a Mattel repro one year, so it's value has dropped. Bild Lillis were hand painted and originals had anatomically correct nipples that Mattel left out! Truly, Lilli was a man's adult doll. And Lilli was loosely based on the Nazi Aryan ideal with a 1950s high class call girl twist...

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