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Song Parodies -> "See The Pandas Won't F*ck"

Original Song Title:

"And The Cradle Will Rock"

Original Performer:

Van Halen

Parody Song Title:

"See The Pandas Won't F*ck"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

The Olympics in Beijing has given me a new pet peeve - spoiled rotten pandas! I hope I never have to read another story about how some poor little Plum-Plum or Bling-Bling has been transported in business class and their own private jets paid for by the world's taxpayers via the UN and the WWF (World Wildlife Found) from a zoo in Baden-Baden to a zoo in Bora-Bora. I might finally go bonkers if I ever again have to hear about how they just sit there sipping Limited Special Edition Bamboo Shoots Flavoured Perrier while the dillydallying dingalings Chow-Chow and Downtime-Downtime ignores their presence in favour of playing with their own faeces. I conclude that even in their prime pandas hardly have enough stamina to get off their asses, are picky beyond acceptable comprehension when it comes to eating habits and that they couldn't care less about saving their own species - so why should we? I say let them die out - I say let them all rest in peace - I say shame-shame on the pimps of WWF for making a living on panda porn trafficking!!!

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
Well, I say it's money wasting
'Cos the panda populace don't swing
I think it's more than all this darn migration
'Cos they all were born to oversleep
And they hardly care to even eat
I think it's more than deracination

See the pandas won't f*ck
No the pandas, the pandas won't f*ck
And I say f*ckthem-f*ckthem!

And if some local boar nails one
They start to airlift him around
They say "You're so damn endangered boy, go on boy!"
At an early age he's used as meat
Hooked up blind and indiscrete
He'll need Sigmund Frued (and steroids – oow!)

See the pandas won't f*ck
No the pandas, the pandas won't f*ck
And I say f*ckthem-f*ckthem!

Have you seen a single one laid?

And if a local sow's to blink once
They start to airlift her around
They say "You're so damn endangered girl, go on girl!"
From an early age she's quite sedate'
Bamboonked blind to procreate
She'll need a Doctor Phil (but she won't need the pill)

See the pandas won't f*ck
No the pandas, the pandas won't f*ck
And I say f*ckthem-f*ckthem!


© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Max Power - August 15, 2008 - Report this comment
They're cute though
alvin - August 15, 2008 - Report this comment
lol....great concept
Agrimorfee - August 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Hehe, more VH songs should be done here. (a special nice touch with the ad lib spoken line in the middle)
littleCupCakes - August 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Interesting exposee on a cute animal's private life . . . Liked the ref. to Dr Phil (a Big Panda Bear)
Dr Music - August 16, 2008 - Report this comment
This song has just blown my mind.

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