I remember it was late one night
in the middle of a dream
woke up in a pool of drool
thought I heard a scream
ran over to the TV set
stuck my eyes in for a peek
in black was a man I didn't recognize
showin’ bad guys gettin’ beat
and sluts who would cheat

[Chorus:]
no need to watch it, Jerry Springer’s a clown
no need to watch it, Jerry Springer’s a clown
no need to watch it when his show’s around
don’t turn it on

got the morning paper and the headlines read:
"Springer humps Porn Queen"
Hollywood papers better tighten things up
that son of a B’s obscene
Jerry’s on the TV -just doin’ his job
acting like nothin's new
Paparazzi still lookin’ for him
and he doesn’t disappoint the crew!
what would they do?!

[Repeat chorus]

who's this bum who fell out of the sky?
what's he done and where's he live?
He’s just a jerk who's a sleazy bore and a zero to the kids!
the odd couples fight on the show -they suck!
they do the same each night
and old whores swear at Jerry and they flash their stuff again tonight zzzzzzzzzzzzz
no other place, right?!

[Repeat chorus]

no need to watch it...