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Song Parodies -> "Free falling (Gandalf and the Balrog)"

Original Song Title:

"Free Falling"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Tom Petty

Parody Song Title:

"Free falling (Gandalf and the Balrog)"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Somewhere inside the intellectual Bermuda Triangle of literature professors, HBT activists and, ahem, the worldwide parodist community, there's a popular belief that there's a subtext to Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" where Frodo and Sam has it going on. Yeah right, who came up with that theory first, Michael Jackson? It should be obvious to more naked eyes than Sauron's all-seeing one that the only hidden/hinted queer relationship is the one between the hot Balrog and Gandalf! The Balrog may have been the one with the SM whip but when they met it was love at first sight and Gandalf went into serious dominatrix mode ("you cannot pass, I order you") during foreplay. Seconds later they were in free fall clinch and "wrestled" for hours, until the Balrog was banged to death! Poor thing, it was probably just looking for a good staff job...
It's a Balrog, breeding in fire
hoofed genus, and in Moria glows
He's a wizard, fluent in Elvish
Loves smokin' and them halflings too

It's a long way travellin' to Mordor
There's a shortcut runnin' through the mines
Is he a bad boy, when he's bridging to cuss her?
Is it a bad girl for gawkin' like kids?

Now they're free, free fallin'
Yeah they're free, free fallin'

And a wizard livin' through such dally
Turns white du-ring turnabout to score
See, all the bad orcs are hiding in the shadows
Aragorn hurls as relation takes start

Now they're free, free fallin'
Yeah they're free, free fallin'

Hay rollin', when they're free fallin', yes, they're...
Hay rollin', and it's appalling, yes queer...

It's gonna snug up during the fall and
He's gonna nibble its ear in the sky
Got a stiff staff ready for lovin'
Gonna (censored) its tail for a while

As they're free, free fallin'...

Repeat chorus ad nausea
© Peter Andersson.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

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Tim Mayfield - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
That was no 'free falling' that was a very expensive stunt!! ;-)
Agrimorfee - October 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Kinky! Ludicrous concept made hilarious with this parody. Kinda helps to know the story or have seen the movie, but very good. 555
Johnny D - October 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Gandalf buggers the Balrog? Too many cosmic rays at your Scandinavian latitude, my friend ... or perhaps ... NOT ENOUGH! ;-)
Peter Andersson - October 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Tim: No, the real stunt here was me packing an intro full of buggering puns, to better a parody on par, at best. (Butt at least I’m honest about it).

Agrimorfee: Thanx! Mission accomplished!

Johnny D: I think it’s the fjord water doing something to the bridge between the two halves of my brain.
Allicat - October 29, 2005 - Report this comment
There are so many Lord of the Rings parodies! Geez! Very good- the pacing was perfect.

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