I'm famished, mister
feel like some fish
I know if I purr, and rub you with my fur, that you'll fill up my dish
and look at my collar
tattered and torn
I know you will buy me a new one if I seem detached and forlorn

oh
oh
oh meow

whoa oh
I'm so smart

you love me

with all your heart (I'm such a tart)

I guess I'm a schemer
and what's wrong with that?
it's part of the contract that you agreed on when you got you a cat
coz dude I could just leave here
yeah-eah, go on my way
so you'd better impress (and I'm quite the princess) if you want me to stay
oh ooh-oh, oh ooh-oh…ooh-oh

oh
me
ow

oh oh
I'm so cool

warm my milk

you're such a fool (it's laugh-abool)

oh
oh meow

oh oh
mouse? what mouse?

show me proof…

….he's in this house, before I pounce

meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww………

and as for young Fido
gimme a break
the dog's such a loser he's licking your shoes fer St Pete's frickin sake
yeah I'll play with your cat toys
because THAT's what it takes
to get me more strokes or some fresh salmon (smoked) or those nice tuna steaks
oh ooh-oh, oh ooh-oh…ooh-oh

oh meow

oh oh
zat the time?

sorry dude

your time's up, I'm
due for naptime

oh
oh meow

oh oh
pimp my mat

plump it up

I don't do that
(coz I'm a cat)

oh
oh meow

(fade to…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)