There's a little brown spot on his shorts today
It's the same old stain as yesterday
There's some black crap stuck on his t-shirt too
Not sure what that is attached to his shoe

(Chorus)
He has stood here before in the pouring rain
But the downpour won't wash off his stubborn stains
I guess I'm always hoping that he'll end my pain
But it's his destiny to be the king of stains

There's a little brown spot on his shorts today
(That's his underwear)
It's the same old stain as yesterday
(I guess he don't care)
There's some black crap stuck on his t-shirt too
(One he shouldn't wear)
He's got on some pants covered with some goo
(Lord, don't take me there)

(Repeat Chorus)

He has socks that can stand up against the wall
(Walking on their own)
Smells like dead salmon left out since last Fall
(Rotten to the bone)
There's some last week's dinner still on his shirt
(Don't remember cooking that)
Looks like he's been wallowing in the dirt
(Toss out your welcome mat)

(Repeat Chorus)

When I see him I want to tear my own eyes out
He's the smelliest man on the block, no doubt
There's never a doubt when he's around
Reminds me of Pig Pen on Charlie Brown
King of stains
Hasn't had a shower in a month or two
(Time for him to go)
There is nothing more that I can do
(Buster, hit the road)
There's a little brown spot on his shorts today
It's the same old stain as yesterday
He has stood here before in the pouring rain
But the downpour won't wash off his stubborn stains
I guess I always thought he could end this reign
But it's his destiny to be the king of stains
King of stains
King of stains
King of stains
He'll always be king of stains