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Song Parodies -> "Every Toy You Break"

Original Song Title:

"Every Breath You Take"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Every Toy You Break"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

Every toy you break
Every mess you make
Every bug you bake
Every cold you fake
Santa's watchin' you

Every cat you kick
Every nose you pick
Every floor you lick
If you bathe too quick
Santa's watchin' you

Oh, kid get wise
Can't shake Santa's spies
His surveillance guys
They beat the FBI's!

Every loog you spit
Every friend you hit
Every class you ditch
Every fit you pitch
Santa's watchin' you

Santa's coming, there's just so much he'll take
So you had better be good for goodness' sake
If you get stiffed on the toys that's your mistake
He sees you sleeping and knows when you're awake
So I beg you, wear pa-jamas - please!

Every bed you wet
Every burp you let
If your mom's upset
Here's your Christmas threat:
Santa's watchin' you

Got his elves deployed
I'd be paranoid
Santa's watchin' you

Santa's watchin' you...

Copyright 2003+ Spaff.com. Shameless plug: Get this on the Robert Lund CD Elves Gone Wild!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   10
 9
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
He's a man who leads a life so jolly
Shows up with the mistletoe and holly
With every toy you break
Another note he makes
Odds are there'll be coal inside your stocking

Secret Santa Man!
Secret Santa Man!
He's workin' at the North Pole
And every kid knows his name

Guy - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff - You got this one working nicely. Good job.
Rice Cube - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
HAHAHA! Better than the FBI's...hee hee :-D
Know 1 can hear you dream - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Naughty!
Melhi - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
I love this one! Destined to become a treasured holiday classic!
Meriadoc - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
"Every bug you bake" - Spaff you were a naughty boy! ;-D
Peregrin - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Great work Spaff!
Michael Pacholek - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! That's five!
Claude Prez - November 25, 2003 - Report this comment
I heard a rumor that ELVES GONE WILD was only 9.99!! Is that possible?! WHAT A DEAL!!
Billy Florio - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Excellent work Spaff...kinda reminds me of my "I always think that Santa is watching me" (http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/rockwellandmichaeljackson0.shtml ) ....oh, and save a copy of Elves gone wild for me, Im gonna buy it...soon..I promise lol
Diva - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice!
Spaff.com - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx, Guy & Rice & Peter & Pip & Michaelopedia & Diva & Johnny Johnny bo bonny banana fana fo fonny fee fi mo monny Johnny!

Mel & Mer: The "every bug you bake" was ripped off from (er, I mean "inspired by") Melhi's "Goin' Out of My Gourd" (http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/creedenceclearwaterrevival25.shtml), which introduced the lovely word "magnifry" and brought back fond memories of doing just that.

Billy: This was going to be a parody of "Somebody's Watching Me," but you beat me to it, which I still haven't forgiven you for. So it's your fault that I had to do this one instead. Nevertheless, I've got a copy of the CD for you at www.elvesgonewild.com

Claude: But wait - there's more! If you ACT NOW, shipping is only $2 per order (not per CD), so everyone needs to follow your example, buy lots of copies, and SAVE SAVE SAVE.
Melhi - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
So, I'm getting a cut of the royalties?! (Just kidding.) Thanks Spaff, it makes my day to learn that I helped to inspire a small part of something this good.
Spaff.com - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
Mel: No - thank YOU. Trust me, if I get rich off this CD, I'll throw a lavish party and make you the guest of honor. Right now I'm just hoping to break even.
Billy Florio - November 26, 2003 - Report this comment
I bought it late last night!
AussieBullDog - November 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Great pacing, great rhyming, great parody. Fives, mate.
Bob Gomez - December 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff, you got it goin' ON with this song. Great use of a non-Christmas song for a Christmas theme. How many songs are there on this site that do that? Somebody point me to 'em, please. d;:^)
Spaff.com - December 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx, Dingo (ABD) & Bee Gee. And William: I hope you get your $9.99's worth.
Jeff Reuben - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
A good song from a great CD. And not even the best song on the CD!
Spaff.com - December 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jeffaroo. And I agree - it's hard to compete with the NINETEEN OTHER TRACKS. (What a bargain!)
David Chrenko - December 28, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff, you're a genius!. So busy over Christmas - must atone. This is really great stuff. Please, how to buy CD?
Guy - December 28, 2003 - Report this comment
David, You can order online. www.elvesgonewild.com. Delivery takes about 4 or 5 days. At least mine got here that quickly.
Spaff.com - December 30, 2003 - Report this comment
I *knew* I made the right move in hiring Guy to do my PR.
David: Thanks, and Guy's correct - you can repent online at ElvesGoneWild.com. $9.99 and a couple Hail Marys oughtta do the trick.
Jack Wilson - March 08, 2004 - Report this comment
One of my favs on Elves Gone Wild! I love this! 5's!
Spaff.com - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Jackie: I finally caught and replied to your note on the message board too. So thanks x2.
Billy Florio - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Say it loud, Im voting again and Im proud!
Know 1 can hear you dream - August 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Just in case Santa is watching Im restoring some 5s.
ILikeRipoffs - October 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Kinda like Ray Stevens' "Santa Claus Is Watching You!"
Spaff.com - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Billy DBA Florio & Peter chyd: Thanks again!
ILikeRipoffs: You'll really enjoy my next parody, which is about a serial streaker hitting a supermarket and a basketball game.

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