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Song Parodies -> "Kinky Payne"

Original Song Title:

"King of Pain"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Kinky Payne"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

Don't Know The Original Song (DKTOS)? It's on YouTube.
There's a black leather mask on her face today
It's the same disguise as yesterday
There's a studded glove on her spanking hand
So I'm pretty sure this ain't Disneyland

I was browsing the web and came across her page
With a middle-aged fella locked inside a cage
Internet dominatrix with a whip and chain
And she goes by the nom de guerre of Kinky Payne

There's a cat o' nine tails in her hand today
(Better say a prayer)
There's a pair of thumb screws on display
(You're trapped in her lair)
There's a broomstick covered in metal spikes
(Customers beware)
And her Facebook page has a million likes
(Join it if you dare)

I surfed on the web and came upon her page
I guess it's really true that all the world's a stage
Internet dominatrix with a whip and chain
If submission's your thing then visit Kinky Payne

There's a couple of shackles up on the wall
(You could wind up there)
There's a rack that'll stretch you 'til you're eight feet tall
(Hope you have healthcare)
There's an iron brand that'll make you sweat
(You will scream and swear)
There's a pay-per-view stream on the internet
(It'll raise your hair)

I surfed on the web and came upon her page
And I find it so shocking I can't disengage
Internet dominatrix with a whip and chain
And you'll never forget when you found Kinky Payne

There's a Targaryen throne where the knives stick out
There's a taser making all her clientele shout
There's a secret dungeon that'll leave you scarred
There's a form where you sign up with a credit card

Kinky Payne

There's a punishment planned for everyone
(She is firm but fair)
But there's homemade cake when your session's done
(Take some home to share)

Then she seems to forget that the stream's still on
She removes her mask and - OH MY GOD

I call her and tell her what I saw online
She says "Don't be so prudish, I am doing fine
When your grandfather died I had to earn my way
And I'm making good money being Kinky Payne"

Kinky Payne
Kinky Payne
Kinky Payne
My grandmama's Kinky Payne
I'm so confused in my brain
My grandmama's Kinky Payne
It just might drive me insane
My grandmama's Kinky Payne

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Matthias - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
When Kristoff mentioned "Pleasure" I didn't expect today's "submissions" to be so damn kinky! Loved twist ending for sure though!
Peter Andersson - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
How much for FFM with Gina Tingles and Heywood Ja'Bloeme? 555 dollars a minute?
Peregrin - June 29, 2018 - Report this comment
Fantastic! I loved the way the story built up and up, and with the many different kink references, but then interspersed in a couple of strategic places with the credit card sign up form and the homemade cake. Beautiful. As was the pacing.
Meriadoc - July 01, 2018 - Report this comment
Suddenly the cake makes sense! And loved the credit card line. :D
Andy Primus - July 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Ha, funny one. Good twist at the end. Thought it was going to be about the 70s brothel keeper Cynthia Payne
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2018 - Report this comment
Ah, now I know about her grandfather, well what else could she do but become Kinky Payne. Love a good back story Rex. This was really well written and paced and some great detail. Fantastic job. 555
Rex - July 08, 2018 - Report this comment
Many thanks Matt, Peter, M&P, Andy, and Stu!

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