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Song Parodies -> "Dick Needs Vasectomy"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Stand So Close To Me"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Dick Needs Vasectomy"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

I could have written this song for the old and bad title pun alone. I could have held on to that until the last verse or chorus and not given it away in the very first lines of the whole song. I could have done that but instead I wrote it for the neighbourhood friendly chorus - sing it out, sing it loud, sing it proud, sing along with it in public places - then enjoy the straightjacket…

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
My neighbour, name Richard, has a large family tree
He's fertile, like crazy, bred children thirty-three
Off marriage, he's bonking, lots' women, in a craze
Booty king, he gets it on, the side from every race

Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy
Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy

His friends are so jealous, you know how old men get
Sometimes he makes them queasy, when he's in Stud Gazette
Lactation, gestation, he just needs cast an eye
When eggs drop, he's mating, he'll burst a ten pound fly

Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy
Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy

Once shot by a bridegroom, but this dick will not die
He's screwed half the courtroom, waves child support bye-bye
It's like this, girls see him, they start to procreate
Ten thousand, they stalk him, the whole town ovulates

Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy
Dick needs…
Dick needs a…
Dick needs vasectomy

Repeat Chorus

© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - March 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Tickled? Nay--you actually fractured my funny bone... servin' you with fives!
John Barry - March 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Laughed my vas off.
Phil Nelson - March 26, 2010 - Report this comment
Matthias - April 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice innuendo and a good parody!
Andria - April 10, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM March 2010) Hilarious, sexually explicit but not so much that it's best suited to Whatfreaks, and well-done all around. 5s.
Jeff Reuben - April 15, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: My first thought was that Synchronicity doesn't match the syllables. My next was, "Oh...Don't Stand So Close to Me does!" Hilarious, you did well with this one!
Below Average Dave - April 19, 2010 - Report this comment
I have to be a hundred percent honest in saying the odd grammatical use of the English language on this one was way too much for me to really get into this. I like the general idea, but what you had to do to make it work was very difficult to get a good laugh out of. . .sorry buddy
Abbott Skelding - April 24, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM- Excellent job! 555 more babies on the way!
Arwen - April 29, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM...this just tickled me, K1...loved it! Stud Gazette...The whole town ovulates...lots and lots of laughs!
bobpiecheese - April 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, that was definitely weird. Funny, and well written and paced and stuff, but yeah, weird. Maybe that's just me, though. 555

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