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Song Parodies -> "Don’t Be Verbose To Me"

Original Song Title:

"Don’t Stand So Close To Me"

Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Don’t Be Verbose To Me"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

Inspired by Pippin's Kiwi workmate...
I’m featured as object
Your MENSA fantasy
Why must your discoursage
Be so damn proxily?
Syllabic en-longing
Sends me into a rage
By pointing out how we both
Concomitantly age

Don’t be, don’t be so
Don’t be verbose to me

Can’t stand, your endless
Highbrow oratory

Your spreadsheet’s named ranges
Are non-contiguous
Nomenclature’s outrageous
Verbage meticulous
Them concat-enations
You discuss vapidly
Bombastic orations

Expand, expand no

Demand, more blandness
Of phrasiology

Eschew ob-fuscation
Just promulgate a try
Please don’t say “crustacean”
It makes a crab of I
Such artic-ulations;
Your word profundity;
All those cog-itations;
Reek of pomposity

Disband, disband your
Syntax precocity

Words grand, high-handed
Makes me bellicose-y

Demodand of speech you be...


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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mandamoo - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Glad I had my trusty pocket Macquarie with me..! :P Delightfully succinct :)
MasonR - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Ya got a lotta twenty-five cent woids in there! Well done!
alvin - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Verily, this vichysoisse of verbiage veers most verbose, so I'll simply add that it is my very good pleasure to give you a five, whose Roman numeral is, of course, V.
Ann Hammond - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
What alvin said
John Barry - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
TJC - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Wondrous wordplay, er, um reeel gud scriblin, dudes!
Tommy Turtle - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Are Pippin's workmate's initials JAB, by any chance? (Concatenation-ful tribute last Monday: cough cough)
MrMacphisto - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
You really wore out the dictionary with this one... 5-5-5
Peregrin - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
TT, Eeeek ! Sorry about that, we both completely missed it. I will have a look now :) For the record, my workmate's intials are KJA !
TT - August 20, 2007 - Report this comment
KJA = Kiwi John A., right?,,,, Delightful Five-dollar-wordplay... uh, was "proxily" supposed to be "prolixy" (play on "prolix)?
Meriadoc - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks all!

TT - Proxily was Merry having "Dyslexian Typios."
Below Average Dave - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
"Disband, disband your Syntax precocity" Nice word play. Two "Don't Stand" parodies in the same day. . .who'd a thunk. Merry and Pippin---it's a shame we can't hear you record more often--your lyrics are always among the best on the site.
Kristof Robertson - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
One of the most elegantly funny parodies posted recently. Loquaciousness abounds! 555+
AS - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I really like KJA, and her prolixity is welcome to me!!
TT - August 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Sounds like the one about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac who stayed up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.... thanks for clearing that up :)
wandlimb - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
If you can't pontificate to the beneficiary of your impassioned adulation, what's the significance of existence?

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