my net connection failed, using broadband
and then my ISP, said "try another one"
and then it all went wrong, with my modem line too
and I'm off the net again, and my phone lines screwed

I only got on once, now even that hopes gone
i've got a feeling, another payments due
so they've gone bankrupt, well that's a maybe
i can see it here some time, when maybe that comes true

they've got rid of modems
all that line space is sold
but you'll still get the same speed
as the phone lines of old
when i first saw that Ad
about it on TV
it promised that Broadband
was waiting for me

said it's better, fairly nifty
expensive? yes, pretty
when I had finished paying
they requested more
connection's not singing
and their number i'm pinging
we said "it's appalling"
they said "just tonight"

the guys on the AOL helpline
were saying "Go away"
and I won't be on the Net
at all today

the lines dropped,
I go hmph,
and my PC is junk
sitting there near my bed
with the connection dead
the hard disk got knackered
the keyboard got battered
yes this service is @rse
ISP? that's a laugh

the people at Freeserve tried tonight
to fob me off again
and I won't be on the Net
at all today

i could have just logged on
unlike everyone
but it's still 'line busy'
just when i try you
they say it's just today
it's just as if they know
this is a con that goes
when online terms confuse you

The techies at BT anytime
were busy once again
and I won't be on the Net
at all today