-> "88 Lines About 44 Strange Dates"
Original Song Title:
"88 Lines About 44 Women"
Parody Song Title:
"88 Lines About 44 Strange Dates"
Britney was a toxic girl
She wore Sinead O'Connor's hair
Paris must've been real poor
Couldn't afford underwear
Katie was a cute girl;
But who was the dwarf she had in tow?
Marilyn, a disappointment:
Twas Manson, not Monroe...
Buffy was a real surprise
She staked her steak with violent glee
Nicole R, I had to feed
She couldn't lift her celery
Gwyneth cried through all three courses
Thanked the waiters, chef, and God
J-Lo's Love Don't Cost A Thing
But she surely blew my wad!
Heather was the nasty type
She crushed a beetle with pine leg
Lindsay had a thirsty mouth
I drank white wine; she drank a keg
Deborah liked Messing 'bout
Surfboard chest, but blessed with Grace
Pamela may have looked nice
But I can't recall her face...
Ms. Paula A, I idolised
She made me Randy like a dawg
Encouraged me to free my "Borg"
Angelina's bee-stung lips
Requested hanky panky rough
Liza M, she stood me up
Because I wasn't gay enough
Two young Russians called Tatu
They let me watch but not partake
Renee Z was nice but dull
I found it hard to stay awake
All six Dolls la Pussycat
Invited me to join their troupe
Things were going well with Cher
Until her nose fell in her soup
Naomi threw spaghetti at me
Got her maid to clean it up
Mariah said "life's like a movie"
(Her life must've been a flop)
Little Drew filled out quite nicely
I'd phone home to see that pair
Shania…felt like a woman
But I did not have one to spare
(Shania: still the one!)
Catherine brought an old and beat-up
Leather bag; she called it "Mike"
Pink said she could do things with
Her piercings I was sure to like
Venus and Serena clocked me
Their response was "new balls please"
Celine sung a slushy ballad
Til I told her, "cut the cheese!"
Martha S had baked me cookies
Each contained a file inside
Second date with Britney;
Pabst and pizza in her double-wide
Lil Kim must have been rushed
Coz she forgot to wear a dress
Demi's surgeon added more
But career-wise, more Moore is less...
(Are you believin' this?)
Madonna said she's Like A Virgin
(that's virgin on ridiculous)
Sandra B looked pale and sweaty
She was late, so took a bus
Avril was too complicated
Sk8er Boi? Hey, learn to spell!
Though I prayed for flame-haired Kidman
I got Ginger Halliwell
Miss Winona wore big coat
I covered her while plates she stole
Whitney's nasal passages
Vacuumed up the sugar bowl
Halle and Michelle arrived
Matching catsuits: what a treat!
Liv, so hot in elven garb
Gave me hairy palms, not feet
Barb and Jenna, unimpressed-
Iraq'ed my brain for witty words
Mary Kate and Ashley- wow!
Purred like kittens; ate like birds
Dirrty young Christina lied
"You're the first boy I have kissed"
Condoleezza turned up p*ssed
Put me on her "must do" list
88 lines about 44 strange dates...
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