London calling!
I'm the dude from "The Bill"
We hear Doctor Black
has got himself killed

Mustard, walk me
...to the gruesome scene
Come outa the cupboard
please Reverend Green

Someone's bawling
"Of course it weren't me"
Mrs White complained just a
bit hesitantly

"I'm too boring.
I'm as dull as a mouse"
Scarlet declared
in her see-through blouse

Professor Plum's fumbling
He's scared he'll get nicked
Show me the weapon
Just one thanks, not six
Where did it happen?
What, noone knows where?
We ALL better walk
around
...n'see who's the fibber"

Now we're walking
through the Library backdoor
......is that Miss Peacock
disinfecting the floor?

Secret Passage!
can you grab me a torch?
Why is Colonel Mustard
dismantle-ing the porch?

In the Ballroom,
and it's not beyond doubt,
but while we were walking
I figured something out

Hunch is forming
and I'm sure that I'm right
Sit down you lot
it'll BE a long night

It's QUITE elementary
T'was Sunday at dawn
Windows were open
there's dew on the lawn
The candlestick's dent was
a misleading clue
coz I have just solved the
crime!
Announcing the killer...


[** nervous gasps as the suspects await the announcement **]


Concisely, I'll sum up
the whole episode
Scarlet!...The Study!
and um...er...The Rope!
so that's who I'm nicking
The rest can depart
Miss Scarlet, get in the
car...
n'drive to the river


[** muffled grunts and groans from the car **]


[** in an office a phone rings and...GASP!...Dr Black answers it! **]

"Who IS THIS?"

London Calling
It worked like a treat!
Miss Scarlet put out
she's certainly on heat!

I'll re-pay you
for the capsules of blood
And you're off the hook
for the thousands of dud...

scripts you're scrawling