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Song Parodies -> "Master of the Outs"

Original Song Title:

"Master of the House"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Cast of Les Miserables

Parody Song Title:

"Master of the Outs"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

In honor of the baseball season that started a few days ago. This is baseball - broadway style (or at least trying to be)
(Pitcher)

It's a tie score
Three on, none down
And you're the best
Pinch-hitter around

Oh what a mess
It seems I'm in
But I'm not stressed
I know that I'll win

Seldom do you face
Such a fearsome ace
A man who's got a plan
To fan you today

Master of the outs
Doling out the strikes
When I see most batters
Then they're thinking, ¨yikes!¨
Get you with my speed
After with a curve
Guaranteed to get on your manager's nerves
Very soon I'll end the inning
My opponents will all be
Whiffing and then whiffing
At the balls that will be thrown by the...

Master of the outs
Working on my fame
Ready for relief work
At the end of games
Winding up my arm
Seems I'll throw it high
But it's down the middle
And you'll want to cry
Everybody loves a challenge
And I wish that you were one
Light you up like a candle
And I'll be the winner when I'm done

( Fielders)

Master of the outs
ERA of one
He's the one we call on when
We need things done
Hurler to be sure
Also can finesse
What he is gonna do next
No one can guess
Every batter's awful nightmare
And his fielders' greatest friend

(Pitcher)

I'm very hard to handle
And I'll be the winner in the end

I'm a pitcher
That's filled with juice -
My energy
I put to good use

I made a pun
Now I will punch
You out with strikes
It's more than a hunch
I'm a kind of crook
I steal victories
From any team that looks
To get hits off me

You should be quite scared
Scared you're facing me
I will make you look as
Graceful as a tree
Swinging at a ball
Way over your head
Looking and strike three and then
Your face turns red

Confidence would be misplaced if
It was in you and not I
Please don't even bother
Since there is no point for you to try

It looks like a strike
Ends up in the dirt
And you'll end up swinging, that will really hurt
Maybe it will slice
Or it could be slow
When a sinking fastball's what you thought I'd throw
When it comes to notching strikeouts
There are a lot of things I do
I am so diverse that
You are sure to curse that
Sure fact that it's me that's facing you

(Fielders)

Master of the outs
ERA of one
He's the one we call on when
We need things done
Hurler to be sure
Also can finesse
What he is gonna do next
No one can guess
Every batter's awful nightmare
Not a cinch to beat at all

(Pitcher)

I'm too much to handle
And I'll make you sorry you play ball

(Batter)

Falling asleep
I have not got all day
Now please stop singing
We are getting paid to play
¨Master of the outs¨?
Not a bit of truth
I will not believe it 'til
I see some proof
I am so afraid
No I'm not really
Guess you haven't pitched yet
'Cause you're scared of me
What do you have to wait for?
I don't want to stand around
Wish there was a pitcher
And not this belly-itcher on the mound

(Pitcher and fielders)

Master of the outs

(Batter)

Master of the bluff!

( Fielders)

He is just unstoppable

(Batter)

I have heard enough

(Pitcher and fielders)

Hurler to be sure. Also can finesse.

(Batter)

Everything you say makes me believe you less

(Pitcher)

I am gonna beat the batter
I am gonna get him out

Everybody ought to cheer

(Batter)

I'll hit your pitch outta here

(Pitcher's whole team)

Everybody ought to cheer for the master of the outs

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   6
 6
 4
 
 5   26
 26
 28
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rice Cube - April 04, 2003 - Report this comment
This is very well thought-out. Seems that the batter got Madame Thenardier's lines ;-)
Tone-Def - April 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks rice. And yeah, madame thenardier's lines are the same as the batter
Stray Pooch - April 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Pretty ambitious - and I love the batter's interplay at the end there. Everybody raise a glass to the master of the . . . parody!
John Jenkins - April 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Outstanding - unfortunate that you missed the deadline for the Amiright Awards Best Sports Parody competition - you would be giving Mike Armstrong some serious competition.
outofthisworld - April 05, 2003 - Report this comment
okay, i read this, and it took me right back to the origianl. and now i'm probly gonna be humming it all day. gnreat parody! perfect pace and wonderful lyrics! grade A++++
Tone-Def - April 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks for the coments... now if only some more people would vote
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good work, loved how you incorporated 'belly-itcher', 5-4-5.
Johnny D - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) "Wish there was a pitcher / And not this belly-itcher on the mound" Great!
Meriadoc - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very cleverly put togeher.
Charlie Decker - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) Wow...that parody is a monster. Good job just having the endurance for it!
Jeff Reuben - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) Loved it Ethan. Swinging for the fences with this one, and likely doing very well!
Rex - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
When does this play go on tour? I want a ticket!
Agrimorfee - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SPORTS) Batting a 555.
Scathe - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
(SPORTS) Magnificent, Ethan. I can actually pitcher this on stage. :-)
Guy - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) DKTOS on this one.
Claude Prez - March 03, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS but very entertaining nonetheless. Loved the "please stop singing" part.
Stuart McArthur - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
(sports) - wow, marathon effort - thanks to Elaine's dad in Seinfeld, I KTOS - excellent effort
John Jenkins - March 04, 2005 - Report this comment
This was a very fun parody to re-visit. The OS is an extremely entertaining song in a great musical, and the parody does an excellent job of maintaining the humor. Was this modeled after any particular pitcher?
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 05, 2005 - Report this comment
I appreciate the choice of original song, you're going subtle on us there, aren't you Ethan? :-)
Johnny D - March 06, 2005 - Report this comment
(Sports) See above ... I'm still impressed!
Loosekanen (Mike Armstrong) - March 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(sports) nice story paordy here. i enjoyed the batter's sequence.
AMIRIGHT SPORTS PARODY CONTEST - GOLD MEDAL - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=9365.0;id=5182;image
Sylvia Viridian - October 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Absolutely brilliant. Wonderful job with the pacing and the rhyme scheme, and in addition you really managed to keep the feel of a ball game. Makes me want to see more Les Mis baseball!

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