Close your eyes. Lie down and rest.
You've a normal heart beating.
Do you understand why you're feeling sick?
You were overeating.
Do you still feel an internal pain?

I believe that you should not
have had sixty-eighth portions.
You belong in bed. Juice will do right now.
So will soup and crackers.
You won't feel more of an internal pain.

All that steak,
eclairs, beans, fruit, and cake...
plus those seven turkeys you ate was a mistake.
I don't want to see you vomit.
No.....

(Instrumental break)

Here's a cure.
That's what the tablet's for.
You know the product's purpose and its jingle even more:
"Alka-Seltzer to the rescue!"*
Oh.....

Excuse yourself when your burp.
And stop puking on me, please!
Do it in this pail. Now please get some sleep.
Call me in the morning
if you still feel an internal pain.

(Repeat each verse in the same order to fade.)