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Song Parodies -> "The UT Eye"

Original Song Title:

"Eye In The Sky"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Alan Parsons Project

Parody Song Title:

"The UT Eye"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

Students attending colleges and universities often run a high risk of contracting sexually transmitted or induced diseases and infections, owing in large part to the new social freedoms the environment affords them coupled with the intoxications of their theoretical youthful invincibility and their distilled spirits’ very practical potency. Considering there is a smartphone app for everything these days, it is not surprising that legal teams for the University of Tennessee, Knoxville are currently seeking exemptions to specific HIPAA privacy rules, hoping to enable the Student Health Center to publish a proprietary software tool to assist its own student body in combating this pernicious problem. Once approved (they are already close, just a few more eyes to dot), all pertinent student health information will be recorded in the aptly named UT Eye databases, and a plug-in DNA reader for end user devices will allow for instantaneous sample processing and results transmission, alerting students with a distinctive warning tone if it would behoove them to keep their pants on in a given situation. And life-saving as this app will be, it won’t sell itself; they’ll have to promote it, and that’s where this little ditty comes in. TOS on YouTube
Don’t say
Condoms aren’t your friend
Don’t think
VD’s only pretend
You’ve been with many partners before
But one day you may wake up with sores
Believe me
Why take a chance?
The pain in your pants can be grating

Don’t say
“It won’t happen to me!”
Don’t let
Them say, “What STD?”
You’ve always had to trust them before
But now we track diseases and more
It’s handy!
Our new smartphone app
Takes much of the clap out of dating

The UT Eye is online
Up and awake
Tracking all the slime
It has a huge database
Saving your grace
Streaming all the time
And you won’t have to think anymore
Just steer clear
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime

Don’t hold
Harmful myths in your mind
Don’t think
It’s safe in the behind
You might think “If he’s cute, then he’s clean”
But take a good look at Charlie Sheen - NOT winning
Don’t roll the dice when your turn at life is beginning

The UT Eye is online
Scanning your peers
With finesse and ease
This is a new liberal art
Sponsored in part
By The Cranberries
And you won’t have to think anymore
Just steer clear
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime

The UT Eye is online
Always with you
During your drive time
It knows who’s naughty and nice
Don’t pay the price
For your lover’s crime
And you won’t have to think anymore
Just steer clear
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime (it’s warning you)
If you hear a chime

Security Code: P38. Can O' Worms, anyone? Walther?

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

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