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Song Parodies -> "Talkin' Westerns (Gary, Randy & the Duke)"

Original Song Title:

"Talkin' Baseball (Willie, Mickey & the Duke)"

Original Performer:

Terry Cashman

Parody Song Title:

"Talkin' Westerns (Gary, Randy & the Duke)"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Gary Cooper, Randolph Scott and John Wayne. Yes, his friends called George Randolph Scott "Randy." And you exepected me to do this song with a variation on the baseball theme? Not this season.
(Intro: opening bars of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"...
played on that most Western of instruments, the harmonica.)

Go drop all your snobbery.
"The Great Train Robbery"
was filmed over a century ago.
What Edison hath wrought
inspired lots of thought
and moving pictures set out
sayin', "Westward, ho!"

I'm talkin' Westerns!
Tom Mix and Harry Carey.
Talkin' Westerns!
John Carradine, Wallace Beery.
And Walter Brennan usually played a kook.
We watched 'em all from Boston to Dubuque.
Especially Gary, Randy and the Duke.

Roy Rogers riding Trigger.
Gene Autry's songs were bigger.
And Big Jim Arness was Marshal Dillon.
"Maverick" on Sunday nights.
"Bonanza"'s four Cartwrights.
And Ike was readin' those Luke Short books in Washington.

I'm talkin' Westerns!
Like "Wagon Train," "Lone Ranger."
Talkin' Westerns!
And Paladin, tall stranger.
And Lee Van Cleef just made you want to puke.
We watched 'em all from Boston to Dubuque.
Especially Gary, Randy and the Duke.

Now, my old friend, the bachelor
well, he swore he rode the Oklahoma plains.
And Curly left school early to go and see the Duke.
And me, I always loved Randolph Scott.
Those Western films were hot!

We're long past the Fifties
and Eastwood's films were nifty
and "Blazing Saddles" had sight gags and puns.
Costner blows the bucks.
Make sure this ain't one that sucks.
And a Cowboy's layin' down the law in Washington!

I'm talkin' Westerns!
Tom Selleck and Gene Hackman!
Talkin' Westerns!
"Oklahoma!" with Hugh Jackman!
To the genre "Lonesome Dove" was true.
If AFI is callin', it's no fluke.
They'll be with Gary, Randy and the Duke.
Gary, Randolph and the Duke.
(John Wayne, John Wayne, John Wayne.)
It was Gary, Randy and the Duke.
(John Wayne, John Wayne, John Wayne.)
I'm talkin' Gary, Randy and the Duke.
(John Wayne, John Wayne, John Wayne.)
(repeat 'til fading off into the sunset)
So long, Pilgrim.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Jack Wilson - March 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job, Mike! 5's
alvin rhodes - March 12, 2004 - Report this comment
a very clever put some work into this one...5s
Robert J. Pagliaro - March 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice write - did I miss the Magnificent Seven reference? (Also, I've decided that you're older than I thought you were.)
Jan Unwin - March 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I got my husband a personalized autographed picture of James Arness for Christmas. So glad you mentioned Gunsmoke! 5-5-5
Stray Pooch - March 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Golden, Michael, just golden! Though it seems you could have at least just MENTIONED Gene Autry's baseball connection - lol!! Still when you consider that both westerns and baseball are two great American traditions that are all but dead today, it was a great choice. Great job! 555.
Michael Pacholek - March 14, 2004 - Report this comment
No "Magnificent Seven" reference, Robert, which I now see as a bad oversight, though originally it was Eli Wallach, that film's villain, I had "made us all want to puke." But I like Eli, and even saw him last night on a late-night rerun of "ER." Van Cleef may be respected for his work, but he was rotten to the core. I also considered using Lee Marvin, likewise. And I'm 34 but I don't have a life, so I do a lot of reading (and posting here), resulting in a vast knowledge that never had much use until the Internet came along (bless you, President Gore). I'm just glad no one got baseball on the brain and confused old-time Western actor Harry Carey with broadcaster Harry Caray. Holy cow!
Robert J. Pagliaro - March 15, 2004 - Report this comment
You can't get 'em all in - just one of my faves. See, before this parody I had you at 35 - then I went to 45. (I do hate this song however - Cashman ruined it when he did versions for every team.)
Doug Baseball - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job; wondered if anyone had done this for anything. It could be done for other stuff fairly easily, though as you say you got all the oldies in. BTW, if you ever see the Dennis the Menace comic strip, he has *always* enjoyed Westerns, and there's even now references to Tom Mix and such. Easy to figure with the Western Channel or whatever they call it on cable. (I can see parents letting a kid watch those a lot more than a lot of stuff on TV.)
WesternCakes - April 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Great write Sir Michael, my favorite "dark horse" cowboy was Robert McCulough of LARAMIE, what a gent . . . Also, I love Sam Elliot, he married a Lady Katherine, too! his voice alone tingles me!

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