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Song Parodies -> "Put it on a Ritz"

Original Song Title:

"Puttin' On The Ritz"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Put it on a Ritz"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

A low-bitrate mp3 of the song can be found here.
If it’s true appetite growed
Then you should smooth top-pings bestowed
As taste befits
Put it on a Ritz

Cheeses ripe from cow or a goat
Bits of tripe (that’s gut of a shoat)
Or some grits
Put it on a Ritz

Yes it’s not true meal on which to dine-y
But it still tastes good with glass of wine-y
Crackers tiny!

Come, let's fix some topped with jelly
Or some pick-les from the deli
Use what fits
Put it on a Ritz

Caviar, anchovies too
Any meat but kangaroo
Gouda, dip or jam on there
Chili rows, that’s if you dare

Use Ritz - and spare tortillas
Want switch? Spread criadillas!
Peanut butter’s fine
For a crumble-y time

So break out your best Bordeaux
Open a pack where fine viands go
For flavour hits
Put it on a Ritz

Hors d’ouvre sliced: add some escargot
Miniscule and sloppily joes
Perfect fits
Put it on a Ritz

Fresh ones crumbled finely in your soup or
Tiny shards to stick on your chalupa
Or with grouper!

But must watch for salmonella
(That’s not fish, though, I must tella)
That’s the pits
If it’s on a Ritz

Toppings when consumed you thought were super
Biding time ‘cus now you’re on the pooper
Thrown for loop-a!

In the loo you had to go
Let it go thru: what’s laid you low
In bathroom sits
Botulism hits
Got it on a Ritz
Got it on a Ritz
Got it on a Ritz

‘Nother chance
‘Nother - chance…

Cheese fondue or pimentos
Vegemite too, and pilchards so
In rationed bits
Put it on a Ritz

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent title sub. It's all it's crackered up to be!
Ann Hammond - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
he he
alvin - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
hmmmmmmmm grouper.....great job on this one...tough song to pace...crackers tiny !
AFW - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
about crackers, but not crumby at all, tasty, and very good, in fact
Agrimorfee - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Thought this would make a great commercial jingle until the last verse...ewww! haha 555
Below Average Dave - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh wow, that last verse was uh-interesting. . .I've always loved this TOS, I can't even fully explain why, but I do. Very novel idea, I can't believe it hasn't been done before, it seems SO obvious, but then those are the easiest to miss. . .
mandamoo - August 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Ah, but do they make worms ??? 3x5's - just for the inclusion of Vegemite :)
Alpha Skua - June 18, 2018 - Report this comment
When cheese and crackers and peanut butter little round crackers for Ploy puttin on the Ritz

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