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Song Parodies -> "I Bagged a Tiger"

Original Song Title:

"Eye of the Tiger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Survivor

Parody Song Title:

"I Bagged a Tiger"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

I see that there are a half-dozen Tiger Woods-themed parodies of "Eye of the Tiger" on Amiright - it's too hard to pass up a no-brainer like this, apparently - but don't let that stop you from checking out this performance by Steve Goodie, the result of a collaboration between him and Tom Smith and me.
- "Good morning, sports fans. Neil and Bob here. Welcome to the Wide-World Augusta Championship Pro-Am Open Masters Invitational Celebration of..."

GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! BALLS!

GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! BALLS!

- "Now let's welcome to the platform this upstanding young woman from Nevada. You may recognize her from 'Who Wants to Do a Billionaire?' She's here to start our day with the Tiger Woods National Anthem."
- "How sweet of her. I see that she's wearing a 'Just Do It' T-shirt."
- "Actually, I believe that's body paint, Bob."

I was lame
No one knew my name
Had no game, got no glory
But stuff happens in Vegas, and who should happen on me
But a jock with his cock-tail in hand

And then
I bagged a Tiger, now I'm Hollywood hot
Sold my soul to the National Enquirer
Got my own stalkerazzi taking big-money shots
Went from nameless to famous when I
Bagged a Tiger

- "Now that's inspiring."
- "Yes, a Cinderella story, out of nowhere...."

Then I find
He's not all mine
I've been in line with ten others
- "Twenty! Thirty! Forty!"
It's not just me on TMZ and ET
How indiscreet! He should cheat just with me!

Although
I bagged a Tiger, seems it's par for the course
Lots of folks have taken strokes with his 9-iron
Now at least half the planet claims they're swinging with Woods
They're all oogled and Googled 'cause I
Bagged a Tiger

- "Wow, that's...rough. What do you have to say about all these women, Tiger?"
- "They're grrrrreat!"

All big types
Of cats show their stripes
He's been a-lion' and a cheetah
- "Wow, bad puns, Bob."
But soon the public will forgive and forget
And that means: forgive him, forget me

But while I've got the spotlight:
I bagged a Tiger and I'm here to proclaim
He's a much better putter than a driver
When this scandal survivor's back on top of his game
I've still got the golf clap 'cause I
Bagged a Tiger

- "Who's your caddy!"

GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! GOLF!
GOLF! GOLF! BALLS!
(etc.)

- "Wow, Tiger really shanked that one, Bob."
- "Gotta watch out for those shankers."
I bagged a Tiger
- "He must have told those women he had a US Open marriage."
- "It all depends on the lie."
Yeah, I banged a Tiger
- "Ya know, his wife's pretty teed off. She called him a PGA-hole."
- "Ooh, now that's a hazard."
I boinked a Tiger
- "He'd better keep his balls clean, or he could face sudden death."
- "Remember, this all started with a car wreck...."
I nailed a Tiger
- "...He could blame the whole thing on his Caddy."
- "Tiger has lots of cars."
- "He got a hole in one."
Face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot.
- "What's the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?"
- "I don't know, Bob, what is the difference between an Escalade and a golf ball?"
I boinked a Tiger
- "Tiger can drive a golf ball over 100 yards."
I spelunked a Tiger
(c) 2009+ Spaff.com

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   2
 0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   16
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I loved the background sports commentary in the background of this one. Yet another brilliant one Spaff.
Peter Andersson - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
ABBA's got a song called just plain "Tiger"...
Andria - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody, Spaff, and I think this whole Tiger Woods scandal is getting old fast, in fact faster than Michael Jackson's death did. Regarding a relationship with Tiger Woods, I am already spoken for in case anyone wants to know (sorry, OMR, AFW and others who have taken interest in me over my time here), and I wouldn't date a spoiled brat billionaire who is a philanderer, a possible domestic-violence offender and probable steroid user and a poor sport like Tiger is. 5s.
Mark Scotti - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved it! Very clever...
Jack Wilson - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Best Tiger parody yet! 555. I guess now I dont have to write Tiger Got His Ass Kicked by a Golf Club BTW I has new parody www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/owlcity1.shtml
Fiddlegirl - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
TMGLTM... Laughed all the way through!
Max Power - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Golf Tiger's balls.
To Andria - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Lol wut?
Andria, to "To Andria" - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I am sick and tired of the Tiger Woods scandal filling up the news when more relevant news, such as regarding climate change, the faltering economy, nuclear weapons in Iran and North Korea, or the sticky situation in Iraq and Afghanistan, should take precedence over celebrity gossip. I had to state what I thought of Tiger, and I might write a parody about the situation. In fact, it might be up here tomorrow (Friday) morning.
Kristof Robertson - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I was wondering when we were going to see the big T get "spaffed"...(you took your time!;-)). As always, sharp as a pin and funny as hell. 555
To Andria - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
So you assume that Tiger might have taken steroids and beat up his wife because of that?
Andria, to "To Andria" - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
I was not saying that Tiger beat up his wife and took steroids due to current events, I was just saying that I'd rather hear about the war, uranium bombs, global warming, bailouts and foreclosures than newscasters yammering on and on about non-golf-related Tiger Woods "news"..
Wendy Christopher - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
The gags just kept on coming.... I loved this one, extremely witty and well-observed right to the very end. 555
LilCougaress - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Oh, . . . how I love the ' Tail on the Tiger " all striped and furry . . . .
UnKnownBulbtress - December 11, 2009 - Report this comment
. . . Mr bVd . . . .Oh, where can thou be, sirSweaty ?
John Jenkins - December 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent! It's a great read, but a better listen. When are you going to do the video? I particularly liked the Escalade/golf ball riddle.
Jack Wilson - December 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Recording is HILARIOUS!!!! Jizz in My Pants 2009 for sure Video please?
TJC - December 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Wonderful stuff Spaff... W. Al caliber from concept through finely honed production... I'll sum it up with that old computer programmer's adage: GIGO--Genius In, Guffaws Out!
Spaff.com - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks for the catty comments, Matthias & Andria & Mark & Fiddlegirl & Max & Kristof & To Andria & Wendy & LilCougaress & UnKnownBulbtress!

Peter: Ah, yes. I had "Abba/Arrival" on cassette. In addition to "Tiger," the album includes "Dum Dum Diddle." Coincidence?

John & Jackie: A video would indeed be fun. Email steve at stevegoodie dot com and tell him he needs to make one. Seriously.

TJC: Golf Is Genuinely Orgasmic.
Jonathan S. - December 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Careful there, Spaff--you're liable to give
some unsuspecting soul
serious

'pun overload.'
BTW, I too enjoyed the Escalade/golf ball bit. 555
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment
I just realized there;s no "wash his balls" or "ball in the hole" puns here...LOL
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after 3 hoes
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment
Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and all Pro Golfers? The other golfers stop after the 18th hole Tiger Woods PGA 2009: Pissed Girlfriends Aplenty Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and all Pro Golfers? The other golfers stop after the 18th hole.
Jack Wilson - December 15, 2009 - Report this comment
What's the difference between a caddy and one of Tiger's mistresses? Nothing, theyre both going to wash his balls somehow!
Jack Wilson - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
What do all of Tiger's mistresses and his wife have in common? Theyve all seen Tiger's wood!
Spaff.com - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanx, Jonathan & Jackie & Jackie & Jackie & Jackie & Jackie!
White trash - July 17, 2010 - Report this comment
He is not fit to wear John Daily's pants!
Spaff.com - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Or get into them.

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