Call your girl by your ex's name.
"The Superbowl is just one more dumb game."
There's so many ways to piss off.
A million ways to piss off.
A million ways, like obnoxious coughs.
Oh yeah

Oh, there's many-a way,
There's many-a way to suck.

Your Yanni tapes, yeah, crank them high.
Say, "Children, you just rot in the ground when you die."
Make fun of every sad situation.
And have you thought of public urination?

Oh, there's many-a way,
There's many-a way to suck.

Now quickly, change the hands on all clocks.
And when at work, take off your socks.
Kick an old fart in the knees.
Say the greatest group was the Bee Gees.
Counter ev'ry point of view.
"Yes, in fact, they should make Gigli Two."

Oh, there's many-a way,
There's many-a way to suck.

Crank up your drums, all night and day.
And, to your girlfriend, say you're gay.

Oh, there's many-a way,
There's many a way to suck.