She's a registered repubber
She's a Metamucil queen
Drives a '65 Electra,
Bigger than a submarine

She's got appointment with her stylist
For a perm and manicure
He's preening up her beehive
And tinting it azure

Learning to match the beat of the polka fan
Yearning to patch the seat of her old divan

She's got to bake some scones and cakes
To bring to church socials and wakes
She soaks her dentures overnight
And's careful what with she chews it
She's feeble enough to break a hip
But deft enough just to bruise it

She's a Blue Haired Gran...

She's a talk show host believer
Tuned to Rush and Hannity
She's a recipe exchanger
In her church auxil'yary

She's got handrails inside her shower
To prevent a nasty fall
She keeps the temp at 80
And always wears a shawl

Trying to make a lace granny-square afgan
Vying to take first place in her Yahtzee clan

She watches "Matlock" every day
She loves the all-you-can-eat buffet
She's feeble enough for a walker
But proud enough not to use it
She smells like mothballs and stale piss
But wears perfume to diffuse it

She's a Blue Haired Gran...