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Song Parodies -> "Pressed To Confess"

Original Song Title:

"Dressed For Success"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Pressed To Confess"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

The Salem witch trials (1692-93). A servant told tales to some young girls and they began 'acting out' claiming they were being tormented by witches. Soon other young girls followed suit, people were accused, women were jailed for witchcraft, some were put to death.

Fun times, fun place.

Original song on YouTube

Scare scare scare...

Cried of prickin’, little ones tattle
Cried of prickin’, pinched by witch they did moan
Servant’s talk; small fry believe it
Unlucky crones ‘cus now suspicion is sown
Watch ‘em run and tell their mother - oh oh oh!
Betcha go and tell church fathers – apropos
Don’tcha know we’ll cause a pother? – Bring it on...

They’re gonna be pressed to confess
Salem’s het up on some big time sorc’ry
Town’s vexed by some hexed
Hyping it up to the gov’
Call lynch mob! yeah yeah yeah

Hope you’re afraid, and tremble and cower
We see black arts and know you’re just in disguise
Wide of the mark? Whinge to your master
We’ll have our way, you’ll sway from branches up high
Whatcha think of mass hysteria? - oh oh oh
Would ya like to have some witch cake? – Oooh I don't know!
When ya gonna take a touch test? - Let me go...

They’re gonna get pressed to confess
Heaping it up with those big rocks, baby
Confess or get pressed
Heaping it up till you’re snuffed (rock art!)

Scare scare scare...

Whatcha think of mass hysteria? – Oh oh oh oh oh
Don’tcha like our Mass. Bay area? – Think it blows
Don’tcha think you need a prayer, yeah? - Let me go...

Pressed to confess
We’re gonna assess your noblesse
We’re gonna suppress and compress
Getting it hot on the big stake maybe
Confess to ‘unblessed’
‘Scaping death cup it is rough
Oh so tough, yeah yeah yeah
String you up, yeah yeah yeah
Till you’ve snuffed, yeah yeah yeah
Your time’s up, yeah yeah yeah

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   7

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - December 18, 2014 - Report this comment
It wasn't the most rational and balanced time, was it? But there was a lot at stake for a spell.
John Barry - December 18, 2014 - Report this comment
I was bewitched. Just read a book about Andover, where there was more hysteria than in Salem, as it turns out. I have a parody about the Salem madness in the works.
Timmy1000 - December 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Well done. I wonder what current events will be viewed like Salem witch trias in a few centuries?
Leough - December 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Outstanding display of rhyming prowess!
Andy Primus - December 18, 2014 - Report this comment
Ditto what Leough said. If all it took was for someone to say that their problems were caused by so and so being a witch, I wonder if any of the accused accused their accuser.
TJC - December 20, 2014 - Report this comment
It sinks *and* floats!

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