It's really uninviting how your ears are overgrown, oh yeah
I'm worried that a collar might have to come in use, oh my
I change the corks and the pads for your runny nose, oh yeah
No doubt I could've married to a fitter spouse, oh my

You keep insisting that your doctor told you you must eat your weight in chips, oh yeah
Your mother does the same with pie, oh my
I'll give you a bath every day but you bob about, oh yeah
Soon they'll have to buy a bus for the pizza guy!

Oh, I'm longing for booze

I have to make an effort now so I get delirious, oh yeah
Nobody else will give you the toilet kit or the spout, oh my
Every time I pick the vapour up it's harder to stay off the booze, oh yeah
I'm gonna have to put a towel up and block my snout, oh my

You don't eat a single thing that you can't put a shovel through, oh yeah
You neglect what they say that you're a cream come true, oh my
I'm always in the dark cos your ass blocks the sunshine out, oh yeah
You're convinced that your hot pants are just ill-fitting you!

Oh, I'm longing for booze


(Musical interlude by... well, see the following regular line for details)


It's horrid but I'm frightened by the sound of your back hair clips, oh yeah
I think you could put them to a better use, oh my
Don't worry baby you're spoiled rotten but that's how it's to you behooved, oh yeah
You've spent all my dollars, nothing's been refused

But I'm longing for booze

I'd be enlisting if somebody helped me out or to a telephone, oh yeah
Boot camp is surely better than our lost romance, oh my
I don't have to make an effort cos I do know where my money goes, oh yeah
Did you have to order 1000 ice creams in advance!!?

Oh, I'm longing for booze

Repeat chores/chorus 'til fade