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Song Parodies -> "Abusive To Staff"

Original Song Title:

"Addicted To Love"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Robert Palmer

Parody Song Title:

"Abusive To Staff"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I was working in a prison recently, and the staff were discussing whether a visitor should be allowed back after being repeatedly abusive and threatening towards the visits staff. So I wrote something they could sing back to said visitor when they decline her visit...
You're mouthing off - four-letter words
Stupi - dest ever heard
You're impolite - you're rude as sin
So ain't no way - you're coming in

You're giving us - the third degree
In ever worse - profanity
And I'm afraid - we'll have no truck
With using words - like "chum" and "puck"

Oh - you think you're forceful, but you're merely daft, oh yeah
You don't make me angry, no you just make me laugh
You know you're gonna be ejected, you're abusive to staff

You threaten vi - olence to me
Sure, you could try - you feel lucky?
One handbag swing - one little slap
And I don't have to take that crap - so shut your trap

That's all I'll say
You got no choice: just go away
And now you say you want to see
The Governor? Well he'll agree

Oh, your sheer arrogance is right off the graph, oh yeah
"Rude and plain stupid" should be your epitaph
You know you're gonna be red-listed: you're abusive to staff

Know we've detected you're abusive to staff
Time you were ejected, you're abusive to staff
Don't look so dejected, you're abusive to staff
Apologies rejected, you're abusive to staff

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stephen Harrington - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
5s, very good, gets the message across well.
John Barry - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
From the title, I thought this was going to be about self-gratification. Five fingers.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I'll have to admit that I read the title wrong on the front page, I thought it said "Abusive to Spaff" and thought to myself "WHAT could that POSSIBLY be" and made this my first checkout of the day! :-)
Johnny D - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
What JB sa-----er, never mind. 5s ;-)
carol - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
top notch. The staff will love you for this one. 555
alvin rhodes - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
yes, i thought it was gonna be something else as well.......i'm so ashamed...nice job
Matthias - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
Why you f***ing b*stard, who told you to write a good f***ing song, you son of a b*tch!!! Oh, and F***s!!! That's right Fives!!!
Phil Alexander - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I must be losing it in my old age: the double entendre on the title of this did not even cross my mind until I read these comments :-)
Peter - Abusive to Spaff? I guess it depends if he keeps the quality up...
OK, then: who's going to have written the one that comes up tomorrow, same title, different theme?
PMS - February 07, 2006 - Report this comment
I thought this song was going to be about a mean boss. I was surprised and delighted with this "tribute" to ANY rude abusive "customer".
Larry Hensley - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Very creative and clever, 555's
Tommy Turtle - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Working doing what? Laundry? Making license plates? They let you guys have 'Net access? Explains a lot...

Phil, DKTOS, but looks as good as usual, and sentiment will be just as applicable if you get paroled.
Phil Alexander - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
You don't know "Addicted to Love"? You're a wee youngster of a turtle, then? ;-)
TT - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
As turtles go, yes... they live to 150 - 200. Born somewhat after Beethoven, grew up with the Golden Oldies, never grew out of them. Research - 'scuse me, "plagiarism" - says this OS is from the 80s; DK anything after 70s. Has occurred to me this site should have a Golden Oldie Fogey subsection for us Boomer Turtles. Ya think CG will go for it?
JohnM - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
I was there when you were inspired for this song. V. Good 5*'s all round. I'll show this to Margaret tomorrow..

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