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Song Parodies -> "English is illogical !"

Original Song Title:

"Simply Irresistible"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Robert Palmer

Parody Song Title:

"English is illogical !"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

I would not have been an English major in college. This is lampooning my own crappy typing, grammer, punctuation, spelling and sometimes using the wrong tenses for verbs.The English language has so many exceptions it's hard to keep track sometimes. Anyway, here is a parody of phonetics, pronunciations and general atrocious grammer. There are countless mistakes in here on purpose. Take a Motrin after you spot them all. :)
How can they bee purr-miss-able?
Exceptions knot predictable, know no
This language it is mystical
Stress is on the wrong syl-LA-ble

And now dont ewe forget, definitions of set*
I digress and regret, it's like Russian Roulette
It used two make cents to me, but now i say that

English is illogical
English izn't logical

My spelling is so horrible, yep
Not very understandable
The Ant is incorrigible
My righting indiscernable

It is " I " before " E ", except after a " C "
The words " caffeine " and " eight ", are exceptions we make
it used to make since 2 me, butt now i say that

English iz illogical
English iz illogical

English is illogical
( its knot phine, theres no tellin where the grammer went )
English is illogical
) least it rimes, there's no other way I know (

It's educational, and now I'm taking pause
But I"m still spelling like aye always spelt B4
No grammar promises, not finding n-e laws
It used to make sence too me, but now eye sight that

English is illogical
( won moor thyme, theres no tell-in just how far its bent )
English is illogical
( blows mie mind, I've no other way to go )

( solo uv flipping threw pages looking fore werds I don't know )

The methods R sew fallable
The proof is irrefutable,
o, O, 0, oh, ooh, 'o, oh?
I'm completely dissable
Lives lives indistinguishable

Conjugating of verbs, and that aint ain't a word
Past tense of hear is "heard", but with cattle it's "herd"
It used ta make sense ta me, but now I said that

English is illogical
English is illogicle
She's sew fine, there's no telling where that rulebook's went
English isn't logical
The word "went", that's the past tense of go?
Spelling time, there's no telling where my gramma went
English is illogical
My lament, There's know other weigh tu go

English is illogical !
* AFAIK the word "set" has atleast 45 definitions. PS- I had to try to make this as terrible as possible to accurately represent the numerous exceptions in the English language ( I'm only about half this bad normally ) :)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   31
 31
 31
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rick C - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Eye like it....555
alvin rhodes - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
funny concept and execution...english IS kinda goofy, ain't it ?
D-Boz - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, butt this maid mee laff. Hair, you'll get ol' 5's for this brilliant werk! :)
Rex - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Funy stuf.
John Barry - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Me like.
Red Ant - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanck ewe 2 teh follow wing peephole: Wreck C, Alvin Rodes, Dee-BOZ, wrecks, n' Jon Berry.
2Eagle - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I give you an "A" - or fives. You learned your lesson well. Now try taking German with all its declensions. That'll mess up your mind.
Red Ant - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks 2 E-gull. I suck enough at English without butchering another language. :)
Michael Pacholek - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
English is illogical? Try learning Klingonese, you green-blooded, pointy-eared Vulcan!
Charlie Decker - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
You done good...
Red Ant - April 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Mike-Hail Pacholek: Qa'-pla! ( doesn't every Klingon word mean Honor or Battle? ) Charlie Deck Her: I will be have had thanking you.
Kristof Robertson - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
This maid me smile...555
Agrimorfee - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Helarryus pairodee, Mr. Aunt! 555
Johnny D - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thomas Menino, the Mayor of Boston, was quoted once replying to a question about why the Boston Common "closes" late at night by saying, "We don't want people conjugatin' in the Common after 10 PM." The reporter asked the Mayor if he would please repeat that, and the Mayor replied, "We don't want people conjugatin' in the Common after 10 PM." My wife likes to call him Mayor Mumbles.
Serafina - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry eye mist this won yesterday...eye enjoyed it...5-5-5. =) You r so write about the language.
Red Ant - April 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Thnaks a-gin 2 deez peeple: Krist-off the Sun of Robert, Agrimorfee ( I have misspelled your name enough time to get it right ), Jon-E D, and Sarah- Pheena!!
Susanna Viljanen - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Think positively. You could be a Finn, like me, and learn English only as your third language, like I did.
Red Ant - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Susanna. I actually learned 2 languages before I conquered the numerous exceptions of the English language: Baby talk and sign language ( not the appropriate kind though ). :)
Jeff Reuben - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Eye obvusly missed this the first time around. Well done!
Red Ant - May 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank ewe Geoff Rue-been,
Dumb Ass Kid - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS
Your Worst Nightmare - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Aye gav ewe threy fivs.
Red Ant - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Tanks agin Yoor Wurst Nite Mare.
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sea a buff.
Scathe - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Nice wordplay. :-)
Charlie Decker - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) C uh-buv
Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already voted, commented
Dee Range - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...555... one of your very best. Top notch stuff.
Jeff Reuben - May 12, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM The title threw me. I totally expected Leonard Nemoy/Spock to be singing this song. Anyway..now that the shock has subsided, good job!
Guy - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This actually made good logical sense for some strange reason. One of your better parodies, Mr. Ant.
Red Ant - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank yoo again Dum Ass Kid, Agrimorfee, Scathe ( there always has to bee some-won with a phonetically correct name ), Charly Decker, Rick Sea, D Range, Jef Reubeen, and Gie. :)
Shake Hey Row Thing (Look Brat Only) - May 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Great concept and very well done. It would have been perfect if you'd managed to use homonyms for every typo, like with "won moor thyme" and unlike "sence" and "phine" but still highly enjoyable.
Arwen - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I WAS an English major in college...but I still find this to be very clever...=)
Red Ant - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank yous 2 Jake Eh Ralfing ( Luke Brattoni ) and Arwhen. There are Count Less homofones/ hominems inn hear butt sum atroscious grammer 'n fun-eticks a swell.
Melhi - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This has a certain Presidential quality to it. ;D Great job, Red Ant.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've only dared to write one parody about English grammar; "It's a fix, its suffix" to the tune of PSB's "It's a sin" ( http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/petshopboys0.shtml ) and I'm only giving the full URL because of Neminem's comment on it. It's from the period when apostrophes were transformed to question marks (now there's AI grammatical editing proving AI ain't that smart yet) but hopefully still readable when you're aware of that.
Red Ant - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thnak y00 Mell-Hi ( oar iz it Melly ore Mel-he? ). Yep, purrhaps Gorge Bush had da same probelems.

2 Peter, Son of Anders eye wuz aware uv that, I seen the link butt DTKOS. Tanks form mee.
Rex - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Comment above.
Johnny D - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Spaff.com - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
I love love love the fantastic messiness and melting-pot hyperinclusiveness of the English language. I'm glad, however, that I was able to grow up with it and not have to tackle it as a second language. Anyhoo - fun stuff, Ant in Chains. Many great bits, my faves being "Stress is on the wrong syl-LA-ble" and (oddly enough) the backwards parentheses.
Stuart McArthur - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) that's funny, I thought I'd commented on this - that is really outside-the-square stuff, Red Ant, ie. hilariously conceived, and the perfect OS for it, and Spaff picked up my favourite bits too - the ) brackets ( and the syl-LA-ble, but plenty of other gems
Red Ant - May 29, 2005 - Report this comment
ThANK yoos 2 Spaph.com ( Spaph? Sounds like a infecshun Eye'd like 2 hav ) and Stewart McArthur.
Phil Alexander - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
xLent, Red Ant. I do so enjoy grammatical parodies :-)
Kristof Robertson - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is still, superb? Red Ant; I thin'k maybe! you sho-uld do: one on, punctuation) (next)....;-)
Red Ant - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanls Fill Alexander.2 Kristoff, aye have too in mynd butt it just mite bee eh while b4 wee c it, ore um them:
Claude Prez - May 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever; I like it
2nz - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Great work hear, Red Ant. Clever stuff, trooly n xlent right. ANd what all the rest sed.
Red Ant - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thankies again to Clod Prez and toons. All-so, thanks to Tym May Field for the vote. NOW TO THE EVERYONE BY THEIR CORRECT NAME: Thanks to: Rick C, alvin rhodes, D-Boz, Rex, John Barry, 2Eagle, Michael Pacholek, Kristof Robertson, Agrimorfee, Johnny D, Serafina, Susanna Viljanen, Jeff Reuben, Guy, Jake A. Ralphing ( Luke Brattoni )-I hope that's correct since you parodied your own name, Arwen, Melhi, Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd, Spaff.com, Stuart McArthur, Phil Alexander, Claude Prez, 2nz, and Tim Mayfield.

As for figuring out all the mistakes, forget it. That is about as logical as the English language, and an entire bottle of Motrin would probably be needed to even get an accurate count.
Red Ant a.k.a. Master of Typos ( sorry K1, that is my title ) - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
That "THE" should be "THANK". I'm best at what I do worst. :-)
MysteryGoat - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good song.
Red Ant - June 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you Mister E Goat, err I mean MysteryGoat.
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Late comment due to Firefox and lack of sleep (I guess).. at least I voted in time... I love this one. Great stuff.
Red Ant - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks again Tim. Also forgot Dumb Ass Kid, thank you too.
anderson "parody man" araujo - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
tis wan iz beri fony 555
Red Ant - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks "parody man".
john ulvang - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
knot enuff phives whith ownly twenny ate. ad won moor. ahsum!
Red Ant - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you John.
Blue Ant - December 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Good won. Buy the weigh, I dew believe melhi is pronounced mell-high, not mell-hee. U were write the first time.
Red Ant - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanx Blue Ant, eye due bee-leave ewe are korrect. How ya bin?
Tommy Turtle - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Professors and others have made the same undeniable allegation about English, but not this humorously. Hi, Fives. I mean, Hie, Fives. I mean, High...
Peregrin - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I gut hear L8, butt njoy'd it nunthelest, RA !
Crazy Gary - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
I like ur concepts and ideas 4 songs- ur also hittin on sum good music- where do u live lets collab.- well i got 75 parodies- but im ocd greedy and am motivating myself to hit 100 b4 i post em - lol i like ur soundgarden bill parody - i did one to come as u are called wag the penis

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