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Song Parodies -> "He's A Metrosexual"

Original Song Title:

"Simply Irresistible"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Robert Palmer

Parody Song Title:

"He's A Metrosexual"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

now I'm a 2 week old, I look back on my first week with shame at my ignorance. mea culpas for not submitting a complete parody. thankyou for the kind helpful hints I received from all (esp. Paul R.) In good faith I have completed this (earlier submitted) parody so it matches the original, stanza for stanza, syllable for syllable - as God is my witness,I shall not stray again - (sorry again, ellipsis)


He's a metrosexual
a quasi-intellectual
a lifestyle oh so flexible
his six-pack is delectable

He is tanned, he is buffed, his Clooney hairstyle is coiffed
His dooner and his pillows are exquisitely fluffed
He used to be a big tough man, but now I find he's.....
he's a metrosexual

he's a metrosexual

His behaviour is contextual
his pick-up lines effectual
but even when they're SUC-cessful
he's C - A - R - E - F - U - L

his phones have ring-tones, for the news from Dow Jones
He only uses classic European colognes
He used to wear Brut 33, but now I find he's...
he's a metrosexual

he's a metrosexual

he's so clean
there's no telling where his stubble was
lean machine
car-bo-hydrates have to go

He's unavoidable, he's everywhere I look!
he likes to hunt and gather AND he likes to cook!
he cries at tender moments BUT he's not a sook
ONCE he used to LIKE MacDonalds, now I find he's...
he's a metrosexual

he's pristine
there's no smelling where his garbage goes
clos-et queen
likes his dinner and his show

his manner is inscrutable
his girlfriend oh so beautiful
they're careful with their "screw control"
he's not unlike a new Ken doll

He imbibes vintage wines - his demeanour's refined
His uptown pad is architectur-ally designed
He used to drink bourbon and coke, but now I find he's...
he's a metrosexual

eats his greens
keeps a close eye on his body weight
lean cuisine
it's the only way to go
wears sun-screens
that no UV rays can infiltrate
stuff unseen
he wants noone else to know

he's a metrosexual!


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 3
 1
 
 4   3
 2
 2
 
 5   26
 25
 26
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

... - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job. Now this one deserves a 5-5-5. ;)
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks ellipsis - phew
Ashkicksass - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Fine, I'll admit it, this one is better. But only because there's more for me to laugh at. Way to go Stuart!
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks ash - ( felt I should do the right thing - you know.....matter of honour....)
Johnny D - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
And I just gave it the first of many 5-5-5's it deserves!
Airfarcewon - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever selection and use of words, phrases, and rhymes...very Cole Porterish...Excellent work..5's
Arwen - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm still in love with your subject matter...5s...
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Arwen - you probably say that to all the subject matters ! :-)
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks Johnny - I had a listen to your Rocket Spam - very amusing !.......thanks airfarcewon - wow, Cole Porter..there's a field to plunder!....thanks both for the 5s
Billy Florio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Ill say it again, excellent job Stuart....
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
good on you Billy - and thanks for the encouragement last time :-)
Billy Florio - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh and btw, song of the day
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
wow - that's a first - ta very mooch :-)
Steven Cavanagh - October 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done.
LucidLupin LeeBee - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent! ;) 5s
Stuart McArthur - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks Steven and LucidLupin LeeBee (one day I know I'll find out where that name sprang from.....)
Serafina - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nicely done. 5s all around.
Blue Ant - March 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Ditto on all the above comments.
Stu McArthur - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Belated thanks to Blue Ant (?) and Serafina.
Stuart McArthur - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
ha, there's that imposter again

yes, sorry Blue Ant and Serafina for not thanking you earlier - many thanks :-)
Red Ant - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
555 on this. Again, Blue Ant is not me.
Charlie Decker - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I had missed this one before. Great job, as always! 555
Leo Jay - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Outstanding parody. Have to refamiliarize myself with the OS to more fully appreciate it, but all the elements are there, and you've really captured the essence of metro -- at least my sense of it. Well done.
Michael Pacholek - April 12, 2005 - Report this comment
I guess I better comment on this one... type... type... type... type... OW! Oh, darn, I broke a nail. Hold on, let me get an emery board...
Stuart McArthur - June 06, 2005 - Report this comment
whoops, been neglectful - thanks Red Ant, Charlie, Leo and Michael P
Charlie Decker - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above - glad to read it again. Fantastic!
Red Ant - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Excellent read again Stuart.
Adagio - June 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Good work on this, Stu. I didn't realize that you were that "new" to the scene back then.
Melhi - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(H) Nice job, Stu!
Agrimorfee - June 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Nothing to be ashamed of! 555
Rick C - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Glad for the ABC rounds, to get a look at some of the excellent writers old stuff. Yours too, Stuart! (JK, of course). This is a riot....555
Johnny D - June 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above.
Dee Range - July 02, 2005 - Report this comment
This has great rhyming to the OS, with lots of clever and hilarious lines . In other words, a typical top-notch Stuart special. Fantastic stuff, Stu!
Scathe - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-H) I'm completely lost here. What is a metrosexual?
Stuart McArthur - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks everybody

Scathe - he's that type of new milennium guy, who's in touch with his feminine side, and who (hopefully) fits the above description - the original, and the role-model for all metrosexuals, is David Beckham
MysteryGoat - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) It's funnier now that I know what a metrosexual is.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
How did I miss this beauty? Do you have the Chaser Annual (sort of the Aussie version of 'The Onion', I'm assuming). One of the articles is "Anti-Discrimination Board Upholds Vilification of Metrosexuals." Funny stuff. As was this, of course... great rhyming and hilariously done. 555
Jeff Reuben - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--Very well done, although it's causing me to look at myself in a new light (I guess a song is good when it helps you expand your horizons?) I fit quite a few of these things
Arwen - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC--yep...still STILL in love with your subject matter...=)
2nz - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
At first I thought you said his six-pack was 'detachable' and that's about where you woulda lost me... Where was I? Great flow to this one, Stuart. And excellent rhyme scheme. I've no good excuse for not coming by sooner. Thanks for teaching me what that word means kinda.
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Arwen - (I don't know how long this gag will continue to have legs but, here we go...)
in love with my subject-matter? well, that means you'd love this...
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/myfairladysoundtrack0.shtml

thanks 2nz - the word is in general usage in Australia, and I just thought it was internationally current

Luke - just that article's title is hilarious - now THAT is Aussie humour

thanks MG

thanks Jeff - you and me, brother! (btw metrosexuals say "brother" a lot)
Paul Robinson - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, did I give you good advice? When? How did that happen? Good thing you took it, whatever the hell it was...it seems to have brought you into full bloom as a writer...OH...DKTOS here, but an interesting read...I was lured in by Scathe's inquiry as to how to define a "metrosexual"...wanted to see what you said...OK...that was good, too...
Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
actually thanks for the chance to correct that, Paul - I put your name down because you'd been so friendly to me in my first week as a newbie, so you were the name I remembered, but it was actually Phil Alexander who I meant to thank for the advice, as he was the one who advised me (without penalising me) that I had to complete the full parody to avoid being penalised - this parody (which completed an earlier shorter version) was the result of his advice - so BELATED THANKS, PHIL!
Paul Robinson - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Stu, it's a pleasure to be properly dis-credited in this case. Anyway, it's really easy to get me and Phil mixed up(yeah, yeah..."Phil & I"...happy now, 'Grammar Police' or whatever you call yourself?)...he's the one from England and I'm not...he's the one who knows a lot about science and I'm not...he's the one who knows the proper usage of apostrophe's (?) and, as you can probably tell, I'm not...I think I'm quite a bit older, though...and when I first started posting on this site someone, I believe it was either Merry or Peregrin, noticed I had "short-sheeted" a verse on one of my postings...and I was forever grateful for the same bit of advice you appear to have received...they docked me a point for it, though...yeah, I've got a bad memory. Must be past my bed-time ~ ~ ~
Stuart McArthur - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
well, you know what it's like, Paul - as a one-week-in newbie, every name I see is a new name, and yours and Phil's both started with P - my brain works slowly and only digests names one letter at a time, so that would explain my mix-up - and I recalled you'd been very welcoming on my second parody "At Thirty-Three"
Paul Robinson - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes, well not only do both names start with "P", but both first names are 4 letters (not to be confused with "4-letter words"...OR...maybe sometimes they are...), and both LAST names are 8 letters...this fits neatly into a gibberish theory - I love those...just remember, Phil=knowledge, science, logic, correct grammar usage - Paul=fast fingers and plentiful digressions/divergences of a rather lengthy and wordy sort, logic applied as deemed necessary, inability to retain basic usage rules for apostrophes...
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "H" SILVER MEDAL - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3010.0;id=7394;image
Peregrin - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I got here late but thought this was a hoot, Stu :)

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