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Song Parodies -> "As a Prophet of Doom You Have Blown It"

Original Song Title:

"It's The End of the World as We Know It"

Original Performer:

REM

Parody Song Title:

"As a Prophet of Doom You Have Blown It"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

If you are reading this, you probably survived the Mayan Apocalypse. Unless you are reading this from a different dimension or alternative reality. If you're still here, don't worry, the world is going to end some day. If not for all of us all at once, maybe for each one of us individually.
Too late, it starts with a sunrise, roosters crow, newspaper man
And Garner Ted is long since dead
Eye on the TV screen, gobble down Lean Cuisine
Earth turns at same speed, dummies feed their own needs
Tell 'em lies and squawk and grunt
Nonsense, Mad Hatter starts to chatter, sell the fear, blight the right
Water or fire, gallivant the horsemen four, government still pours men into a combat zone
Four days left, we're shopping in a hurry, with the flurries blowing down our necks
Fame, no shame, the prophets baffled, trumped, circled crops
Look at these high prices! Fine 'em!
Uh, oh, overblown, inspiration? Come on, dude, it's little good
Slew yourself, screw yourself
Folks have some strange needs, cheering as the world bleeds
Still here after the Rapture, along with the Reverend of the Right--shite!
You're asymmetric, apoplectic, flim-flam night light
Thought you had us psyched

As a prophet of doom you have blown it
If you'd just read the Book, you'd have known it
The last seed of despair, you have sown it, and we're still fine

Countdown clock, final hours
Stop and smell bouquet of flowers
Leaves can't burn, sunburn, listen to butter churn
Locking in low mortgage rates, car dealers offer price rebates
Light a vandal, fight a vote fraud
Stomp down! Stomp down!
Use your heel, crush bug, oh boy
Heaven, no beer? Chug one here
Rodeo steer, cheer!
A firmament, a permanent, a monument of pies
Chemical solutions, offer me a shot of booze
And I'll recline

It's the end of your scam and you've known it
No "Apocalypse Now", they've postponed it
If you've got lots of cash, will you loan it? And I'll be fine
I'll be fine

It's an oak from an acorn, you've grown it
Lack of all common sense, who'll bemoan it?
Model air plane of wood, I have thrown it. And it flew fine

An infomercial selling knives, beauty creme to wrinkled wives
Lawyers stand in a line
Lauren Bacall
Lepke Buchalter, Lucille Ball, Len Bias
Donner Party, cupcakes, jumping bean, doom!
Unsympathetic, idiotic, pencil-neck, fright?
Kite

It's the same crazy world as we knew it
Day of doom but we all made it through it
You bit off way too much, tried to chew it. And I feel Mayan.

I'm the king of the world, gonna throne it
(It's time you left us all alone)
Then fall flat on my face, gonna prone it
(It's time I dialed a telephone)
Smoke a pipe full of weed, gonna stone it
(It's time you pay your student loan)
And I'll be flyin'

I'll write more songs like this, gonna clone it
(It's time to bake a tray of scones)
Then the Witch of November will crone it
(It's time to join the Skull and Bones)
Say a prayer, hope to God I'll atone it
We'll keep on tryin'
The original was a mishmash of oddly juxtaposed images that didn't always make a lot of sense, at least to me. Which justifies, in my mind at least, a series of non-sense lines. This time, the doomsayers goofed, but I sure it's not the end of the prophecies of the end of the world.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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Callmelennie - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Now this song should be one of the "Seven Sisters" (my new name for the Big Seven)
John Barry - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Some great wordwork in here: my fave: firmament/permanent.
Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Well, some people THINK I'm living in another dimension...
Timmy - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Well done on REM, just like last week. Don't we still have the rest of the day for doom to strike? I'm not holding my breath though. I think the doom is falling over the fiscal cliff. Congress adjourns today, I think.
Lifeliver - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
As JB: a lot of thought went into this. Well done. Never really took to REM but this is an improvement. 555.
Patrick - December 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Normally Congress going home would be a good thing.
TT - December 22, 2012 - Report this comment
Per the classic Mayan texts, there never was any mention of the world ending, only entering a new era or cycle. When the sun rose over the Mayan ruins in Chichen Itza Friday morning, the doomsayers were satisfied that they were wrong. But that didn't stop the media from continuing to run with it. Great job of skewering the fanatics, with good wordsmithing.
Patrick - December 22, 2012 - Report this comment
It was good for tourism, the Mayans can use the money. I suspect some stone carver is busy at work right now on a new, improved calendar.
MasonR - December 24, 2012 - Report this comment
Great job here. As others said, great word replacement/wordplay here.

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