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Song Parodies -> "Can"

Original Song Title:

"Stand"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

R.E.M.

Parody Song Title:

"Can"

Parody Written by:

MooRocca

The Lyrics

Ever wonder what kinds of stupid things might float through my head late at night when I should be sleeping? Well, now you know.
Can is a john or a loo
Toilet or
Privy, outhouse, restroom
Potty, wash room, lav or commode
Stool, head, facilities, throne
Ladies, Gents
Used to be the water closet
When the rich folk brought 'em indoors

Jail for the accused, tank or the jug
Pokey or prison, the clink, behind bars
Complete recordings of action or sound
Are held within, and so is the crowd

Oh!

Can is your butt, your rear end
Bottom or
Keister, rump or tushie
Your behind, buns, tookus, back door
Your fan-ny, caboose. Still unsure?
It's your ass
It's the lazy place where you sit
When you feel like shirking your chores

Complete recordings of action or sound
Are held within as men run afoul
It's just what you need when nature is calling
Natural cushion, eases the falling

Can is for food, it's a tin
From the store
Lots of fun to kick it
(So's a can I've mentioned, before)
And can's what you do to preserve
(Makes no sense)
Canning's what you're doing
When you seal your food up in jars

It's just what you need when nature is calling
Natural cushion, eases the falling
It keeps the food that you grew in the ground
And just for fun, I'll kick yours around

A can (can!)
Best place for
Stinky trash and garbage,
Junk you just don't want any more
Now, then (can!)
"Just can it"
Means to shut your face, or your lips
Gums no longer flappin...

Can means your able or it's
Possible
Maybe, not prevented
Means you might, it isn't for sure
You're canned when you're fired from work
Dismissed, axed
Means that you've been terminated
But it also means you're allowed

"Can" is a versatile word
(And it's short)
"Can" is a noun or a verb
(C - A - N)
It's easy spelling, it's just like it sounds
("Can" is one syllable long)
Yeah "can" is great, it's meanings abound,

Oh Can!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   11
 9
 9
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW! Great job...555!
Kristof Robertson - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
That was incredibly clever, Melhi...I'm more than impressed. 555
Ashkicksass - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Pure Genius! Naturally my favorite line was: "Lots of fun to kick it (So's a can I've mentioned, before.)" LOL.
Phil Alexander - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but DCE (don't care, either)... that was exceedingly clever, Melhi.
Agrimorfee - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
What a wonderful inCANtation. I light a CANdle in your honor! This is a definite CANdidate for SOTM! 555
Rod Worden - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
'..fanny, caboose, still unsure? It's your ass' LOL, Melhi! This is one of the cleverest and most entertaining parodies on this site. Great work!
Melhi - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
WOW -- thanks, Arwen, Kristof, Ashkickscan ;), Phil, Agrimorfee and Rod. Whew! I was really nervous submitting this one, because I figured folks would either love it or hate it. Thanks again!!
John Jenkins - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Melhi. I might never look at the word "can" the same again. Also, thank for teaching me how to spell "tookus."
Melhi - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks John! (Psst... I have to admit I'm not sure if that's how anyone else spells tookus, I just took a guess at it.)
neminem - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice work! Amazing how many homonyms there are of this word... I especially liked the addition of all the idioms around it. So great. I have to say, though, I've never heard "tookus" before, and it sounds very much like it's a bastardization of the Yiddish "tuchus" (with the Yiddish hard "ch" like in "bach") that my paternal grandfather uses all the time; that being the case, it would probably still be spelled "tuchus".
Melhi - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Neminem -- and thanks also for the correct spelling of tuchus.
Stray Pooch - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
SHADES OF TOM CHAPIN!!!! This is brilliant stuff, Melhi. I don't know if you are in my late baby-boomer age bracket, but Harry Chapin's brother Tom used to host a wonderful, imaginative children's show in the early seventies called "Make a Wish" wherein he would take a word and musically explore all of its possible meanings. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point Tom sang "I'll make a wish/So come with me/I think a CAN is what I'll be." This is truly a great piece of work!! Well done and 555 for sure. Way to show a "can" do attitude!
Billy Florio - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
And it still makes more sense than the original! good job
Melhi - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Stray Pooch and Billy! Stray Pooch, I don't remember that show, off hand, but the little piece of lyric you gave does has a vaguely familiar ring to it.
jango - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
I love this song! So tasteless, yet so.....tasteless! Yeah!
Melhi - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jango!
Adagio - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
SOTM Great stuff, Melhi.
Jeff Reuben - July 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice...it's good to have a CAN-do attitude!
Melhi - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Jeff and Pat!
EmiLoca - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! This one definitely sparked some giggling in me. Very creative, all 5's from me.
Melhi - July 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks EmiLoca! Glad you enjoyed it!!
Claude Prez - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
You musta been smoking some CANnabis, eh? How the HELL did I miss this one? Hilarious.
Melhi - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hee hee -- nah, I only wish I had some such excuse, Claude. Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the read 'n rate!
Spaff.com - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
A confession: I first misread this as "Lots of fun to lick it / (So's a can I've mentioned before)" - and I nearly died. Now that I've recovered, let me just say that Roget's Thesaurus has nothing on you. Can I admit to loving Melhi's stuff? YES I...
Melhi - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
You must have been confusing this one with my entry from last month, Spaff. ;) Hilarious mis-read!!! Thanks for the read n rate, Spaff, and right backatcha ten-fold with that last sentiment!
Kristof Robertson - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) As I said b4, really good..good luck with SOTM
Melhi - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS and also DKE. FB! (The second word is 'Brilliant'). I must say the title of 'Can' does not do this justice and I delayed reading this one for a while. What a complete ass/butt/rear end/bottom/keister/rump/tushie/behind/buns/tookus/back door/fanny/caboose/lazy place where I sit when I feel like shirking my chores/area running afoul/answering machine for when nature is calling/natural cushion I feel like now!!! PS. You missed one synonym: 'George Dubya'. Very very good work.
Melhi - July 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Luke, glad you enjoyed it!
Johnny D - July 27, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can vote 5's for this, and I will.
Meriadoc - July 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(SOTN) Very clever - I loved it! I think I counted 5 meanigs for can in there...
Peregrin - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Very funny! A definite CANtender for SOTM!
ethan - July 31, 2004 - Report this comment
nothing i can say that hasn't been said. good job
2nz - August 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Wonderful use of the original song lyrics. Can something that you put in a jar, heh heh. Reminds me of driving on a parkway and parking in a driveway.
Melhi - August 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D., Merry, Pippin, Ethan and 2nz!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Still freakin' cantastic!
Charlie Decker - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wow. Very original as always, Melhi. Nice job!
Melhi - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Luke and Charlie!
Agrimorfee - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05)see above
Jeff Reuben - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I love your Can-do attitude! Oops...already went there a few months back. You get points from my wife for using Pokey (our dog's name). Amazing what you've done with a simple idea!
Adagio - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) DKTOS, but a fun read!
Melhi - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Agrimorfee, Jeff and Adagio! Jeff, wow, your dog was famous as a pup! I loved his book, when I was a little kid. ;)
Jeff Reuben - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, we actually have the book, and can read it to our new little one!
Johnny D - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above.
Guy - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-C) Cantankerously uncanny.
Melhi - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny & Guy! Guy: Hmm... and here I was worried it was too "canny" :D
Kristof Robertson - April 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC)"Can" gets a second contest outing...and quite rightly so. Still great!
Melhi - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof!
MysteryGoat - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS
Melhi - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for the looksee, GoatMan!
Adam Eccleshall - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Can't remember the original well enough to place the pacing, and can't find a midi (so no vote), but the lyrics are great :-)
Melhi - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for read-through, Adam. I had the same problem finding anything when I went looking for a link to include with this entry.

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