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Song Parodies -> "I've No Hair Anymore"

Original Song Title:

"I Don't Care Anymore"

Original Performer:

Phil Collins

Parody Song Title:

"I've No Hair Anymore"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

well, you can tell everyone i'm a bald disgrace
big long forehead over my face
i've no hair anymore
i got fuzz on my body but on top, its thin
rogaine, i'm applyin', but i just can't win
i've no hair anymore...i've no hair anymore
i've no hair...on my pate
i don't look the same way...cruel fate

now i am balder than most people
way more than my friends
and they laugh at me...and the jokes never end
i've no hair anymore
and as for me, buyin' shampoo's a waste of time
i got no more to just blows my mind
i've no hair anymore...i've no hair anymore
i've no hair...dark or gray
i must say that i don't want no toupee

don't need barbers anymore...they won't get no pay
big bald looks like my locks have flew
don't know why...i've no hair anymore

well, i've no hair...its gone away
and everyday, i leave my comb on the shelf
well, i've no hair, now...come what may
hell, no one's as bald as myself
chrome like dome

but i remember at some time, it got sparse
now you look at my head and you can see all the scars
i've no hair anymore
and i really got bothered when it fell off me
and all i want to do is just restore it, please
i've no hair you hear ?...i've no hair anymore

i've no hair...did not stay
it surely did recede too much every day
i don't have it no more..its not there on display...why oh why
i lost more of it each day...after time
i've no hair you hear ?...i've no hair anymore
head's glistenin'...i've no hair more
you know i've no hair anymore
no more

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Phil Nelson - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
This is cool. I also wrote one like this, but it was about Phil Collins, called "Got no hair anymore." This one's very different, and very funny.
alvin rhodes - September 16, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks phil
Harry - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Great stuff, Alvin.
alvin - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
thanks harry...forgot i even wrote this

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