(Seventy seconds intro with nonsense music)

I want a blog
Where I'll blah-blah
Where I can smack down this and that
I want to write some smart remarks
But I write baloney

It'll have a chat
Spreading my gnaw an' evil eye
It'll be phat
And pictures of myself under that
But they must be phoney
Cos my face looks like a rat

(More nonsense music)

I want a blog
It will be some work
Cos I'm a jerk and I'll go berserk
At any comments wry
If it is baloney
I urge a blog

(Long spam-like interlude too really irritate lingering listeners)

I want a blog
Bwa-ha-ha-ha!
Where I can be a complete ass
I want to be that, but alas!
I just write baloney

Though that's a blog...