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Song Parodies -> "Ratzinger"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Peter Gabriel

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Steve Kalafut

The Lyrics

Suggested by Red Ant. Unlike in my previous papal parodies, pronounce "Cardinal" as three syllables. Before he became pope, Cardinal Ratzinger was the head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, the modern (and thankfully less influential) descendant of the Inquisition.
Time to choose a new pope
As we crowd Saint Peter's Square
Waited on the Cardinal's Conclave
Now the white smoke's in the air

Now we must be patient
As we wonder who they chose

Will he keep tradition and
Be conservative, and won't change the trends?
Would he be a liberal bishop?
Speculation never ends

But now we have Pope Ratzinger
And Benedict's his name
Oh he is now our Ratzinger
What will be his testimony?

Some hoped for a black pope
But that was just not meant to be
Some said a Latino
But they chose someone from Germany

That's why we have Pope Ratzinger
And Benedict's his name
You must obey Pope Ratzinger
If your soul wants rest

He's going to be the Ratzinger
He will be infallible, yes
He's our Ratzinger
Led the Inquistion office

Rats! Rats! Ratzinger

The nuns wear habits (nuns wear habits, nuns wear habits)
Show no skin (they won't show no skin)
There won't be new stuff (won't be new stuff, won't be new stuff)
Rock and rolls's a sin (rock and roll's a sin)
Will there be female priests?
There won't be female priests
Only men, they'll be only men
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
He does mean men, only men
Marriage must be straight
He's gonna use his power
Build, build up his power, hey
He'll stay anti-abortion
He'll stay anti-abortion
Going to like that power, that he has
Come on, come on, zing the rats
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, rats
He'll be leading the people
He'll be leading the people
What he'll be doing, doing
'Cause he's the Pope
Disclaimer: the phase "zing the rats" is based on Johnny D's "zings a rat" from his Spiderman parody, and of course, from the name Ratzinger itself.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Rick C - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, good parody....555
Red Ant - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I've parodied TOS and I must say you nailed HIM masterfully. Hard to criticize a parody at all when the suggestion was from me, so I won't. :) You get a 666 minus a 111. :)

Okay, now who's going to do " Yesterday " called " Ratzinger " ?
MrMacphisto - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Ratzi is quite a character, isn't he? Good choice of lyrics and subject matter...

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