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Song Parodies -> "Bristol's Stomp"

Original Song Title:

"Straight Up"

Original Performer:

Paula Abdul

Parody Song Title:

"Bristol's Stomp"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Oh shameful me!
Not sure how to say this, so
Well let me say, in our big fam'ly team
One baby is going to join the show
Was lectured before
'Bout boys and girls and making love
Please close the bedroom door
And don't change the conversation please

Knocked up now, Mommy
You are soon gonna be a grandmother!
Oh, oh, oh
Hope this won't mess the election
Screwed up, golly gee
Let's bring me and my boyfriend together
Oh, oh ,oh
Down to the big convention

He's Jack and I am Jill
I really didn't have a clue
The where or what or how for birth control pills
Never understood, it's true,
Abstinence before
Mom, I think the local news
Is a knockin' on our door
"Could we have some information, please?"

Knocked up now, Mommy
Please don't you wanna meet Levi my lover?
Oh, oh oh
At least this ain't like Tom Jefferson
Screwed up, now Mommy
We can all go moose hunting together
Oh, oh, oh
Look it's Grandma shootin' one!

Big John's so hard to read
And he's nuts to seek
You for the nomination
At the Blair House, we'll play games
And you will hear me sing
"A rock-a-bye, rock-a-bye!"

Can you forgive me?
(I'm gonna keep my baby)
Can you forgive me?
(You, you can trust me. And I'll help with the baby)
Can you forgive me?
(And the uncle's a baby!)
Please be proud
Will you forgive me?
Please don't secede me
Another baby!

Life's different than before
Secret Service watch the top
And front of Baby R Us store
They should build a bridge for me
That will go somewhere in the history books
Sorry for that low-blow pun
But, so I did the deed
Please take my hand
A little understanding, please?

Knocked up now Mommy (Oh me!)
Knocked up now Mommy (OH me!)...

Knocked up now, Mommy
The same happened to my good friend Heather
Oh, oh , oh
But I think she had an abortion
Screwed up, Mommy, I'm sorry
But dear Mama, let's trade off babysitters
Oh, oh, oh
Wait until the campaign's done

Knocked up, they'll make me
A poster child for abstinence forever
Oh, oh, oh
Straight from reality television
Screwed up, woe is me
This here regret I'll have forever
Oh, oh, oh
Maybe I'll become a nun

Copyright 2008, Agrimorfee.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - September 09, 2008 - Report this comment
Is there a place called Dogpatch, Alaska?
Matthias - September 09, 2008 - Report this comment
This is pretty much a more modern staterial take on Modanna's "Papa Don't Preach" (I loved that you even included some lines like, "I'm Gonna Keep My Baby"). I'm still not a big fan of political parodies, but this one was pretty good, I can't even lie about that.
Syncronos - July 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I thought the pacing was a smidge off at parts, but then I remembered the calamity this caused and started laughing all over again. Who'da thought getting knocked up would lead to a spot on DWTS? Ha! 555 from me, Aggy!
Matthias - July 22, 2011 - Report this comment
I agree with my parody from several years ago but now it's a very dated political parody which I don't like even more than just political parodies in general. Things that happened 3 years ago I honestly couldn't care less about.
Blaydeman - July 22, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Good stuff here. I'm usually not the biggest fan of political humor (mostly because I don't get it most of the time), but I got this and I liked it a lot!
Rex - July 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Loved the Jefferson reference. Nice synopsis of the situation.
bobpiecheese - August 03, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Apparently this is a political-based parody, according to the comments. No wonder I was completely lost. The pacing was also a bit iffy in spots, but otherwise was spot on. Still can't say I liked this one, but that's just me not knowing anything political besides the basics - not even the politics in my own country. Not your fault here, it's mine.
Below Average Dave - August 04, 2011 - Report this comment
Agri. . .you know. . .this is just funny, I am one of those that have mixed opinions on political parodies, when they are biased and one sided they tend to lack funny, this doesn't lack funny at all. . .and the title sub is friggin brilliant

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