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Song Parodies -> "The Reasons You Can't Drive"

Original Song Title:

"99 Red Balloons"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nena

Parody Song Title:

"The Reasons You Can't Drive"

Parody Written by:

2nz

The Lyrics

This parody will end my current dry spell. I'm still not sure if I like it yet, but I hope you enjoy it.
You and I in an automobile
I'll take shot-gun, you take wheel
Take the car out for a spin
As your mouth spreads into a grin
Merge onto the left side, I said
But all my words missed your head
I'm just glad I'm still alive
There's 99 reasons you can't drive

39 traffic lights
Ev'ry last one glowing red
Wake up, man, drive on the right
Not at me, watch the road instead
The sounding sirens soon arrive
My stomach surely won't survive
90 in a twenty-five
There's 99 reasons you can't drive

Now we've found a neighborhood
Can't you hear me, this ain't good
Please don't hit that house my friend
Or this could be our last dead end
You kept driving, didn't flinch
Cleared the garage in a pinch
Through the trees, hit three bee hives
That's sev'ral more reasons you can't drive

I don't want my end to be, now
An out-take from Burnout 3, now
Seat-belt's not on, yeah I thought so
YOU'RE NOT PLAYING GRAND THEFT AUTO!!!
Wait a sec, we're in the air
Now I need new underwear
We're now in a steeping dive
Just one more, reason you can't drive

33 cars you just wrecked
Twelve accidents, you big buffoon
Not to mention property...
I am speaking, look at me
Shoot, it must have slipped my mind
You're the guy who's deaf and blind
You've got good reasons you can't drive
Not 99, but just those two...


(Alternate ending: For sound-alike fans)
33 cars you have wrecked
Twelve accidents, you big buffoon
Just for you there's a whole committee
You've been outlawed by my city
If I could find a souvenir
To show you that you cannot steer
Well, here it is, the steering wheel
It's wrapped around your left heel...
Drive safe and drive sober. Leave the crashing to games and parodies.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   4
 1
 1
 
 5   14
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adam Eccleshall - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmmm... reminds me of my driving test...

Loved the GTA reference :-)

5's
2nz - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Adam, I appreciate it.
Mike - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved the "You're the guy who's deaf and blind/You've got good reasons you can't drive/Not 99, but just those two..." part. 4-5-5
Johnny D - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, 2nz. Drive safely. Parody INSANELY! ;-D
Stuart McArthur - October 05, 2004 - Report this comment
they're a bit vicious on your pacing - I though it was flawlessly paced - very funny - esp liked " don't want my end to be, now... An out-take from Burnout 3, now... Seat-belt's not on, yeah I thought so... YOU'RE NOT PLAYING GRAND THEFT AUTO!!!" great - 555
Claude Prez - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
The GTA verse was the best but I really liked the whole thing; well done.
2nz - October 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mike the getaway driver, Johnny 2040, Stuart McArthur Airport's crazy valey, and of course, Claude the taxi driving Mailman.
2Eagle - May 04, 2005 - Report this comment
You must have been to Burbank.
Monster - November 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I WROTE THIS SONG FIRST!!!!!! AND YOU PLAIGARIZED IT!!!!!!!!!!1 HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stretford420 - November 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Ah this is hilarious! Well done, fantastic parody

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