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Song Parodies -> "The Face Of Jesus"

Original Song Title:

"One Night In Bangkok"

Original Performer:

Murray Head (from 'Chess')

Parody Song Title:

"The Face Of Jesus"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Okay, Johnny D. This is for you since you posted that article about the bar owner selling his "Face of Christ" oyster. I had to write this when I saw that.
Seafood, alcoholic setting
And the owners sure knows how lucky he's getting
The coup de gras of a loon world with a
Dupe for everything religious

Who buys? One born every minute
Bidding on a sandwich with a lucky smudge in it
Spare change? Don't you know that when you
Order you may get our dear Lords' face on the menu

In Florida, or in Switzerland or in Podunk
Or-or this place!

The face of Jesus in a common oyster!
The barman profits posting on E-bay
You'll find a god in every drop of moisture
And if you're lucky you can make it pay
I can feel a dollar headed out my way

One rube's very like another
When you're selling to his faith, Oh brother!

It's a sign, it's a score, it's really a mir-A-cle
As you're running to the bank, with a check and a cackle

Whaddya mean? You seen one lauded, disputed, Jesus face.......

See? Pearls! From shells
You gotta suck em before the sucker sells

You lie! It's seeing is believing
It's just God's word that we're receiving
I get my truth from an old taco, paco

The face of Jesus on the Shroud of Turin
I gotta say I think it looks like He
Don't be a skeptic or a pot you're stirrin'
Just like his picture in the gallery
On any object His face you might see

I think all is gonna be well
For the ultimate test of the holiest sea shell
This strikes me more than scary
Than Da Vinci code or the Virgin Mary

And thank God I'm only reading the blurbsó
Extolling it

I don't see you guys buying
The angle here that I am trying
Throw in a watch, we'll make a sale
I'll even throw in the real Holy Grail

So you better get back to your life, your children
Your message machines

The face of Jesus in a common oyster!
The barman profits posting on E-bay
You'll find a god in every drop of moisture
And if you're lucky you can make it pay
I can feel a dollar headed out my way

The face of Jesus on the Shroud of Turin
I gotta say I think it looks like He
Don't be a skeptic or a pot you're stirrin'
Just like his picture in the gallery
On any object His face you might see

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

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Rick D - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
To anyone that might be offended, this parody was written because of this link: http://www.dailytimes.com.pk/default.asp?page=story_15-1-2005_pg9_2
Johnny D - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Rick. Since God is omni-present, why should such a phenomenon seem odd to anybody? God's as present in this parody as in that oyster and as in the imaginations of everybody who looks at that oyster ... now how's THAT for a pearl of wisdumb?
John Barry - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
"Bidding on a sandwich with a lucky smudge in it": Give us this day our eBay bread.
Johnny D - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
And us not into Penn Station...but deliver us boll weevils.
Johnny D - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Oops, that should've been, "And LEAD us not into Penn Station...but deliver us boll weevils...For thine is Ka-ching-dom and the Martha Stewart Story, now, in four clever, spayed hens."
Steve K. - January 15, 2005 - Report this comment
After His mom appeared in that cheese sandwich, Jesus in an oyster is not too surprising.
Michael McVey - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Gotta hand it to you on this one, this is not an easy song to parody. I did it once in college, but it was about the local dorms (and a dorm director who was quite a character) and some of the students there at the time, so it would have absolutely no meaning outside that, uh, setting. And to Johnny D, that is really funny! -- MM

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