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Song Parodies -> "(Just call me) Arnold groped!"
Original Song Title:
"Snaggletooth"
Original Performer:
Motörhead
Parody Song Title:
"(Just call me) Arnold groped!"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
I've made a vow that I'm only gonna rewrite Motorhead lyrics (my favourite band) if the subject of the parody is historical (http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/motrhead2.shtml). Arnold Schwarzenegger has confessed to being a groper back when he was on steroids so that part's historical fact (though of course I'm stretching my own rule a bit here). And male groping is probably as old as history, maybe even as old as chaos, soAs for this song it's the bittersweet story of a young and trusty female Californian employee, calling her boyfriend's answering machine from an office hideout after that her boss (Arnold) have had one too many and things have gotten out of hand, literally out of hand!
Pick Up!
Thought he was done with this, then came a big surprise
Old habits coming back, they can't be exorcised
It's like a nightmare babe, an' he 'fessed he had a few
He made our state all red but I will not see his blue
I tried to stay aloof
Then raised some Hell and that´s the truth
Need I tell he made a goof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
I keep it locked in here, but he's outside again
Guess I knew he'd be back, I knew he can't refrain
I think I'm gonna heave if there is no way out
I'm in a snake pit babe, there's a lot of wine an' stout
I got no burdened proof
I flung and yelled and that's the truth
My tone's shrill and that's no spoof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
(Guitar-groping solo)
So now I know his game, I guess it's men and mice
I'll try to fight him babe, I will not let him twice
If sometimes late tonight you'll hear a girly squall
Got to payback Arnolds grope, Dachau for his balls
He said my man's a poof
I threw a Dell and that´s the truth
Calvin Klein holds liquid proof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
(Another guitar-groping solo)
-Yeah Baby!
-Get up!
-Back off!
-Back down!
Thought he was done with this, then came a big surprise
Old habits coming back, they can't be exorcised
It's like a nightmare babe, an' he 'fessed he had a few
He made our state all red but I will not see his blue
I tried to stay aloof
Then raised some Hell and that´s the truth
Need I tell he made a goof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
I keep it locked in here, but he's outside again
Guess I knew he'd be back, I knew he can't refrain
I think I'm gonna heave if there is no way out
I'm in a snake pit babe, there's a lot of wine an' stout
I got no burdened proof
I flung and yelled and that's the truth
My tone's shrill and that's no spoof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
(Guitar-groping solo)
So now I know his game, I guess it's men and mice
I'll try to fight him babe, I will not let him twice
If sometimes late tonight you'll hear a girly squall
Got to payback Arnolds grope, Dachau for his balls
He said my man's a poof
I threw a Dell and that´s the truth
Calvin Klein holds liquid proof
Just call me, Arnold groped!
(Another guitar-groping solo)
-Yeah Baby!
-Get up!
-Back off!
-Back down!
© Peter Andersson. (This parody was inspired by Johnny D's parody "Growmeatian Voteformee". The original song is from the comeback album "No Remorse" and was my favourite Motorhead song for several years, I've wanted to find a parody subject for it for a long time). Part from that; I've now gone from Peggy Lee to Motorhead in two days, I guess I have no boundaries anymore. ;-)
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User Comments
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Thanks for the mention, Peter. Ahhnold is always properly-pumped-up-parody-fodder!
Is the line "Calvin Klein holds liquid proof" something nasty or am I reading something into it that isn't there?
Red Ant: I'd say that line is open for at least four interpretations, depending on those's the subject in Calvins and what the liquid is. So take your pick! :-)
I'd say that line is open for at least four interpretations, depending on WHO IS the subject in them Calvins...
I didn't realise you lived in the States, Peter - I thought you were living in Sweden - DKMotorhead's stuff, but you picked a nice target - 555
Nice turn on the OS Peter. I like the "Dachau for his balls" line, among others....555
Thanx Stuart and Rick. Stuart: I do live in Sweden but Arnold's a household name all over the world (and here too), he's like Britney Spears, he still gets headlines if he so much as farts in public. And before he got himself into politics he was so popular that he possibly even could have got himself elected for something... :-)
Peter - it was "He made our state all red but I will not see his blue" that made me think that
Stuart: I see. The American political colouring scheme was explained to me back when Spaff wrote "Red State Woman", that's how/why I know, and that knowledge came in handy now, when writing this parody.
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